This sounds like a nice way of life:

I moved to the beautiful mountainside town of Cazorla in an oft-missed corner of Andalucí­a in September, 1999. I currently dedicate myself to the cultivation of 1500 olive trees and to investing in the Spanish stock market.

From Ibex Salad (found in an NFS comment)

Yesterday saw the start of the trial of those accused for the bombings that killed 191 people in Madrid on March 11th 2004. The chief culprits face extreme sentences, including a possible 38,656 years for Rabei Osman el Sayed, aka “Mohamed the Egyptian”, who is accused of masterminding the attacks, and 38,670 years for Jose Emilio Suarez Trashorras, the Asturian miner accused of selling 200 kilos of explosives to those that carried them out.

There is more at stake here than simple justice. The Partido Popular claimed at the time that ETA was responsible for the attacks, and along with El Mundo newspaper, continue to cast doubt on the veracity of forensic findings that show the explosive used to be Goma 2 Eco, the same explosive stolen by the above mentioned miner in Asturias and allegedly sold to those currently on trial. The matter of the explosives has become central to the whole trial, with conspiracy theorists and El Mundo claiming that that there is reasonable doubt that Goma 2 Eco was in fact involved, which theoretically still leaves room for an ETA (or other) connection in the whole complicated puzzle. The results of the trial could have a serious affect on the integrity of both the newspaper and the PP.

Those who jump on either side of the Goma 2 Eco fence face harsh criticism, or worse. Pilar Manjon, Presisident of the Association of those affected by the March 11th bombings, lost her 20 year old son in the attacks. For openly criticising the El Mundo theories, and the Partido Popular and their “playgound politics”, this emotionally devastated woman has received death threats and now has to live with a permanent bodyguard.

For thorough coverage of the most important trial in Spain’s recent history, the main players, and the whole Goma 2 Eco debacle, see the appropriately named blog “Playing Chess with the Dead”.

Torch-song icon, role-model for many a drag queen, and already a huge celeb, but the mother of all controversies recently has helped propel La Pantoja onto the front pages everywhere in the Prensa Rosa, and there was never any doubt that she’d be occupying the top spot in our chart as there is literally no escape from the wall-to-wall coverage. To summarise, she’s another Andalucí­an singer with a big voice and is in a relationship with the disgraced Marbella politician Julián Muñoz, who is currently languishing at His Majesty’s pleasure over a number of dodgy deals. Isabel has now been dragged into the whole sorry affair, and people are interested to know how much she knew about what was going on. She’s had her house raided by the police and had to account for wads of cash that they found stuffed in drawers (apparently, she had €9000 in cash at home that she claims was to cover "daily bills”), and the talk recently was whether she would get to take her new year grapes together with Julián behind bars. Her celeb status is increased yet more by the fact that, she too was once married to our old friend Paquirri (remember him from earlier?) so she receives bonus points for being implicated in the Ordoñez family dynasty. Despite her troubles, the magazines are not being too hard on her, and most of them this week were sympathizing about her needing to wear a bandage after a minor foot operation. Good old Isabel isn’t letting her troubles get in her way though, and she’s currently on stage in Madrid dressed, as usual, like a ship in full sail and belting out her tunes at top note. Here she is practicing pronouncing her "errays” (just like me!) singing Arrepentimiento:

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

Big-haired Andalucí­an Uber-Diva whose career started in the 60′s and never went away, and easily hits our Number 2 spot without breaking a sweat, despite the fact that she sadly died of cancer in June 2006. Universally loved by everyone (passports can be officially revoked just for saying a bad word about her), and known as La Más Grande (that’s "The Greatest”, and not "The Biggest” as I originally thought they were rudely calling her!), this woman’s voice has been known to shift small planets from their orbit. Despite her death, her celebrity lives on and she’s as famous as ever, still getting constant mentions on all the gossip shows. If I had a Euro for the number of people I’ve seen hooked-up to a lie-detector, claiming to be in touch with her from beyond the grave, I’d be a very rich man! In fact, I guess she’s the Spanish equivalent of Elvis! Anyway, sit back, turn the volume to a safe level, and check her out:

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

A double winner in at number 3, Letizia Ortiz was once a successful TV newsreader and journalist, but oh no, that wasn’t good enough for our Leti, she had to go one better and bag herself her own country when she married the future King of Spain! Now with a daughter (Leonor) and another baby on the way, Princesa Letizia is in pretty much every magazine every week without fail. When she announced she was pregnant for the second time, there was a frantic hurry to do something about the laws surrounding the line of succession, in case the baby was a boy and leapfrogged Leonor, potentially creating a 21st Century controversy that wouldn’t have mattered a generation ago. All’s well that ends well though, and the baby will be another girl. No doubt, the next time she gets pregnant, the same panic will start again and people will wonder "didn’t we do something about this the last time?”. Finally, no mention of La Leti is complete without a comment on her weight (or lack of it). A potentially anorexic Princess?? Married to the heir to a throne??? ….Haven’t we all been here before? Ah well, a good couple of before and after clips here. The first shows her earning a living before her marriage…

…and the second highlighting the importance of personal grooming when you’re Royalty:

Latest news: Letizia has been much in the news again recently since the tragic death of her younger sister, Erika, last week. It is believed that she took her own life as a result of depression.

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

Madrid-born bland pop/ballard singer, in the news constantly of late after the revelation that he has a secret 3 year old child with a woman who he said would remain private. Low and behold, last weeks Hola Magazine had the exclusive from the woman in question – Valeria Rivera – an unknown Puerto Rican who suddenly found herself Spain’s most wanted magazine fodder. The controversy was heightened by the fact that the child was born while Alejandro was still married to Jaydy Mitchell, the Mexican model, who’s now maintaining her silence in order to increase the "wronged woman effect” (copyright Liz Hurley 1995 ☺). When news of the secret child broke, the sweat was visible on poor Jaime Cantizano’s (presenter of ¿Dónde estás corazón?) normally perfect forehead, and the show has since devoted endless dull hours of random speculation on the subject. In Friday’s edition, they managed to get Valeria on the phone to grill her about her relationship. Poor old panel member Maria (see number 10 in our chart) could barely control herself as usual, and is probably seeking medical attention as we speak. One of Alejandro’s non-descript musical offerings can be viewed here for those still awake long enough to get through it:

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

Serial bride and Grandaughter of General Franco (you may have heard of him!), Carmen is rarely away from the glossies for long. The history is confusing, but the basics are that she was born into a life of privilege thanks to her family connections, and went on to marry Alfonso de Borbón (grandson of a previous King of Spain). She left him and set off for Paris (famously abandoning her children) and set up home with a French guy – Jean Marie Rosie. Tragedy follows her around, and her eldest son was killed in a car crash, while one of the daughters of Jean-Marie was killed in a water skiing accident. (Spookily similar to the death later of her first husband, Alfonso, although I believe that was a snow skiing accident). Next in her European husband-hunt, was the Italian Roberto Federicci with whom she was married a number of years. Of course, it didn’t last, and now recently married once more, this time to a Spaniard again (José Campos), Carmen has seen the public interest in her rise lately thanks to her recent appearance on the Pro-Celebrity ballroom dancing show "Mira Quien Baila” (She was crap of course, and didn’t win). Not everyone was happy to see her married again, most of all her brother-in-law, who had some pretty strong words to describe her including "over ambitious and unintelligent” along with the rather strange comment of "her head is too small for her body”. See for yourselves here. Maybe my Spanish is letting me down and I’ve misunderstood!

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

This woman defies explanation at the best of times, but I’ll try based on what I know about her. Someone told me recently that she’s one of the most pure Royals in Spain (even giving old Juan Carlos a run for his money) and has a family tree going back countless centuries. She turns up (often in her surgical stockings) at pretty much every social event in Spain, and manages to look horrific at them all! There was some kind of major controversy early last year when protests were held against her being awarded an honorary title within Andalucí­a, but I haven’t been able to get a full grip on the details. Maybe one of you will know? Anyway, seeing is believing, so take a look (and a listen indeed, as the voice is real treat too!) – this video is the genuine article:

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!

No one yet officially knows how Erika, sister of Princess Letizia Ortiz, died yesterday in her flat in Madrid (the family alone has been given the official results of the autopsy), but the press is rife with stories of her recent unhappiness… a single mother living alone, split from her sculptor boyfriend… off work for depression last year… never thought of herself as being as exciting or good looking as her other sisters (especially the Royal one, we imagine)… the list of woes goes on, culminating in the news that she had taken the two days up to her death off work, and the ineveitable conclusion in all of our minds: she killed herself. Read the rest of this entry »

Already touched on at number 8, the two eldest sons of Carmen Ordoñez never stray far from the pages of the Prensa Rosa and take joint position at Number 7. Fran is currently working hard in the family business (that’s right – bullfighting!) and Cayetano just stands around looking menacingly gorgeous (he also has been known to dress up in his traje de luces but not with the success of Fran). Just this week though, every mag has pics of Cayetano looking, it has to be said, a little awkward on the catwalks in Milan, trying his hand at modeling for Giorgio Armani. Fran was briefly married (for about 3 years) to the compactly-named Marí­a Eugenia Brianda Timotea Cecilia Martí­nez de Irujo y Fitz-James Stuart XI Duchess of Montoro, who is the daughter of the Duquesa de Alba (more on her later), and they have a young daughter who will no doubt be gracing the front pages in years to come. To confuse matters more, Fran is now dating Blanca Martí­nez de Irujo, a cousin of his ex-wife. You just couldn’t make it up! And to give you an idea of the immense gravity of many of the stories, in one magazine this week there was an in-depth exposé report about Fran receiving a parking ticket. No, seriously.

Dave Hall lives and works in Barcelona. Click here for the entire celeb top 10!