Guest Blogging: Arpi Shively - MiRDA!
by Arpi Shively
Today’s guest blogging entry is from Arpi Shively, who is usually to be found blogging on life in Andalusia at the excellent Andalucid. Her post touches on a subject dear to the hearts of all those who have started a new life in Spain:
Not many people know this: down a long tiled corridor deep in one of Madrid’s most imposing government buildings is a door marked MiRDA (Ministerio de Ruida) or in English, M.O.A.N. (Ministry of Ambient Noise). From within its flimsy confines come regulations governing the production of excessive aural stimulation so vital to a full cultural experience of Spain.
Not just there for fiestas or special occasions, MiRDA is involved in every aspect of everyday life. For example, in order for a motorbike, scooter or moped to pass its aural ITV, it must first sound like five million furious bees in a very small tiled bathroom. Then there are the regulations governing neighbourly chat and children’s outdoor play. These activities should be carried out simultaneously over as great a distance as possible.
MiRDA publishes a recommended mix: Six señoras shouting gossip from six different locations (balconies, benches, doorways, car windows are all permissible). Seven kids scuffling around a football while screaming for reinforcements from the neighbouring barrio. An unspecified number of very small dogs, barking with the fierce pride and machismo of much larger breeds. Four televisions positioned on rooftops or in garages, spilling out canned laughter and gameshow patter on the soft night air in a spirit of sharing. And no Spanish sound cocktail is complete without the classic combo of dumper truck, cement mixer and tile cutter - the music of a nation in perpetual rebirth.
Welcome to our aural world. Ironically, Lanjaron is an old-fashioned spa town in the Alpujarras near Granada, supplying some of the finest mineral water in Spain. Thousands of elderly visitors come each year to treat their ailments and enjoy a peaceful week or two in the countryside. God help them.
The whitewashed Moorish architecture of the barrio where we used to live is designed to capture the full range of Acustica España. Houses are tall, thin and tiled within, crowded like crooked teeth along the narrow winding streets and alleyways. We fondly remember our elderly neighbour complaining that my nephew’s softball practice in one of our empty rooms was disturbing his peace. “Toc-toc-toc”, he explained patiently, pretending to be a softball. Just then a moto shrieked past with its grinning cargo, missing us all by centimetres. He didn’t even blink.
But there’s no point quejar-ing, complaining about noise in a Spanish town. It goes with the energy, curiosity and warmth of the people, their willingness to engage. In fact, we’ve decided to take part. So join us this weekend, when we’ll be erecting a five-storey stack of speakers on our roof terrace, and dusting off our Black Sabbath CDs. At precisely 4.00 am on Sunday morning, we plan to unleash Lanjaron’s first “Wall of Sound” performance. We expect to receive a MiRDA commendation for our efforts, expressing their approval loud and clear.
Don’t forget to check out Arpi’s blog at Andalucid, and Fred Shively’s great photos on Flickr.
Posted: June 22nd, 2007 under Living in Spain, guest bloggers.
Comments: 8
Comments
Comment from richardksa
Time: June 22, 2007, 11:42 am
Very funny, well written and I am sure every word is true.
Comment from leftbanker
Time: June 22, 2007, 3:05 pm
Valencia during Fallas has to be the noisiest place on earth. I think the elevated racket during the festival ups the ante on noise levels for the rest of the year. All mopeds in Valencia are required by law to have a bullhorn attached to the tailpipe, children are only allowed to communicate by screaming at the top of their lungs, you can be fined if they catch your dog not barking, stereo volumes really do go to 11, your car horn turns on when the engine is started and doesn’t stop until you take the keys out, and even the pigeons seem to coo louder than in other cities.
Comment from gary
Time: June 22, 2007, 3:13 pm
WHAT…. ??? You’ll have to speak up… I walked from Rambla de Mar to Barceloneta down Pg. de Colom and I cant hear anything now…..
Comment from Graeme
Time: June 22, 2007, 3:54 pm
The capital has it’s own additional regulations on top of those decreed by MiRDA. So in Madrid we get rubbish collection at 1:30 a.m. , especially slow and noisy street cleaning vehicles every Sunday at 7:30 a.m., vans that start daily unloading at 7 a.m., carefully programmed mass hooting of any driver foolish enough to take longer than 3 miliseconds to react to the lights changing (with a mandatory additional 30% at meal times), and the people hired by the ayuntamiento to sing/shout the glories of Asturias at 3 a.m. when some of the bars close - just in case anyone had fallen asleep. The summer heat comes, you throw your balcony windows open for the next 3 months - and then turn the TV upto full volume because otherwise you can’t hear it with everything else thats going on outside.
Comment from HF
Time: June 22, 2007, 4:34 pm
Has anyone here ever had soundproofing done on their flat in Spain? (serious question)
Comment from Pepino (Dave Hall)
Time: June 22, 2007, 5:30 pm
Double-glazing doesn’t seem to be particularly popular, despite the noise benefits. The balcony doors where I live in Barcelona are old fashioned and just single glazed. Opening them at pretty much any time of the day or night is equivalent to opening the gates of hell and peeping through. The volume is high enough with the doors shut, but with them open…. ufff!
I guess I’ve just gotten used to it though. I’ve stopped waking up in the dead of night even when the dumper trucks come to empty the giant metal (ie noisy) bins, and I can now drift off to sleep to the sounds of passing ambulances! jeje
That’s another thing. Ambulances in BCN seem to have sirens that are bordering on inhumane levels of decibels. Probably the worst thing that can happen to you here is walking down a street while an ambulance alongside is stuck in traffic with it’s siren permanently on. It melts your brain! I don’t know about the local dog population, but even I feel like howling! :-0
Comment from Gary
Time: June 23, 2007, 4:37 pm
… you have usually just drifted back off after the street cleaners then the dustbin collection, when the butanero turns up announcing his presence to the world by beating the empty gas bottles with what must be a lump hammer…
In Leeds, my hometown, we lived next to the A61 trunk road on the hill at the point where the 18 wheelers change down a gear, when I moved away to a small town I couldn’t sleep because there was on traffic noise, maybe I was lucky in Madrid but Barcelona leaves everywhere I have been standing when it comes to the sheer level and persistent nature of the noise.
Comment from greytop
Time: June 24, 2007, 9:29 am
LOL - you forgot the lorry driver and crane operator conversing with their air horns! When people complain to me my reply is “At least you know you are alive!” Moors’ and Christians’ parades this weekend here, so even more noise. Bring it on!!!!
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