Comment from Arpi Shively
Time: October 23, 2007, 9:21 pm

Ben, your honesty is disarming. It’s great that you recognised your condition and are doing something about it. I must say that getting online can be a ‘black hole’ swallowing up hours of your time, and as you say, so much of it just isn’t necessary.

I recommend a truly great book that a dear friend gave me on my 40th birthday: The Tao of Abundance, by Laurence G. Boldt (author of Zen and the Art of Making a Living). It is intelligent, well researched and well written, and offers a new way of looking at abundance based on time, relationships and stuff that really matters. It’s all about ‘enough’.

Having said that, I truly appreciate all the energy and hard work that goes into your prolific site. Without you I would have stopped learning long ago. So thanks, but don’t burn out! We need you and Marina to keep making new podcasts for a long time to come.

Regards, Arpi

Comment from ValenciaSon
Time: October 24, 2007, 12:28 am

Something else amongst the many great shows you migtht enjoy from npr is a show called “Car Talk”. It’s about 2 brothers who are automotive geniuses and take phone calls from all over the US (and maybe beyond) in order to field questions. It doesn’t sound like much but these brothers are very funny and the calls can be pretty humorous. I’m pretty sure their show is available in mp3-ready podcasts.

Comment from Skip
Time: October 24, 2007, 4:30 am

and your not even 40 yet!!!:)? I can definitely relate, I’ve been workin for the man for 20+ years and have two kids, mortgage, two car payments, etc… and I can’t remember the last civil conversation I had with my wife… Needless to say, when I come home from that crappy job, I’m tighter than a diamond factory. I think I need more than a reboot, maybe a new cpu… Regardless, I think you are a very lucky man, your living a dream in many ways, at least from my perspective, and I just wanted you to know that!

I like that guitar idea, maybe that will work for me.
-Skip

Comment from Michael Kieley
Time: October 24, 2007, 8:59 am

Ben,

I like that you are diverging into deeper topics in the Notes from Spain blog. (Ironically, bingeing on your “Notes from Spain” podcasts was a great antidote to my own burnout, when I discovered your site about six months ago). I think anyone who turns their passion into a profession, risks the loss of the refreshment that comes from being intensely involved in a new activity. Sometimes, I sense a bit of envy when someone tells me I’m so lucky to make a living doing things that are “creative”. In response, I’ll often mention that the root of the word amateur is amator “lover”, from amare “to love”, and whenever I’ve crossed over from passionate hobbyist, to pro, I’ve sensed an inner tension, which wasn’t there when I was doing a thing simply for my own pleasure.

I enjoyed your list of antidotes Ben. It made me think of something from a book I love, called “Creativity in Business”. The chapter is titled the “3 E’s–do only what is easy, effortless, and enjoyable” as opposed to the usual business credo, which is to do “what is difficult, distasteful, and depressing”.

My personal list of rebooting techniques includes: (1) spend a week on a tropical beach unplugged from all media, (2) get a little lost by myself somewhere out in nature, (3) immerse myself in something cultural that is outside my work in visual art, (4) without taking it too seriously, visit one of the thousands of guru/alternative healers we have here in Los Angeles, and just try to be open to whatever happens.

I’m glad you sorted out your own solutions to burnout, and I’m looking forward to future podcasts and blog posts. I know it’s sort of a ‘greener pastures’ thing, but the people I met in Spain, seemed much more interested in enjoying the moment, spending time with friends / family, and perhaps appreciating what they have, which is quite different than the general attitude of Angelinos (I’ll include myself), who are often very defined by the work they do, the neighborhood they live in, and a rather crazy level of ambition.

Thanks to you and Marina for all the good information and inspiration from “Notes from Spain”.
Michael

Comment from Frank
Time: October 24, 2007, 9:48 am

“Regardless, I think you are a very lucky man, your living a dream in many ways,”

Agree, you are doing exactly want you want to do. I’m sure it’s extremely hard work, but this year you seem to have enjoyed time in Thailand,Singapore, around Costa de la Luz(Cadiz etc) Barcelona, the Sierras around Madrid etc, there’s a lot harder, less interesting ways of making a living. Sure, to a degree they are working holidays, but tapeando around the bars in Cadiz for example sounds like the sort of job a lot of people would love to do.
The fact that you have work piling up would indicate that your job is going well, you have plenty of work, that’s a lot better than having nothing coming in. Everything seems to be going well for you, and you deserve it you have worked hard, just take a chill pill, life ain’t so bad! There’s a lot that would swap with you.

Comment from luke
Time: October 24, 2007, 10:30 am

I’m a similar age, lost my dad quite recently and I’m in a profession, which requires new ideas all the time, this seems to be a good recipe for burn out. Since I’m suffering from this ailment, I don’t really have any answers but it seems obvious that the first thing you should do is get Marina to teach you yoga! When I’ve done it in the past, it’s had the effect of metaphorically lifting me off the ground. I know most English men see it as a bit sissy but if you haven’t tried it swallow your male pride and put on the leotard! (forget the last bit) Ironically listening to your podcasts has been one of the measures I’ve used in combating burn out; an episode on the balcony in Madrid is enough for my mind to escape for ten minutes. Comedy podcasts can work well too; I used to think he was trashy but Russell Brand is incredibly intelligent and talented; trust me and try out his podcasts from the beginning.
And my way out of a creative block is to engage my mind with a subject that is tangential to the one I need to focus on; I believe this allows your subconscious to work out the problem without all the ‘noise’ of the conscious mind.
You mentioned that you need to stop worrying about other people’s expectations and I think this is key. From my point of view, a blog/podcast doesn’t need to come from Everest to be interesting, an honest remark from the Retiro, with pajaritos fighting over pipas in the background, can be more interesting.

Comment from Dean Hunt
Time: October 24, 2007, 11:48 am

Ben,

glad to hear you are feeling better.

I can relate to what you are saying, I often feel the same way.

For me, the key to feeling better and avoiding burn out is equilibrium. For example, sitting behind a pc screen for 10+ hours per day is not very balanced… i know this because I do it.. often 7 days a week.

So what do I do? I think, ah, I should get some more sleep, that will help… the next day I get up at noon. But now I feel worse, and I have the guilt of getting up at noon, not to worry… I will relax with some xbox360, 3 hours later, my eyes hurt, I am bored of the game, even more guilt….

arrrggghhhh

The point I am trying to make is to do lots of everything as opposed to a lot of a little.

Think of everything you do as Vino Tinto… if you have one or two glasses it is great, you will feel great and it tastes great. But, have ten glasses, and you will feel awful.

In summary, equilibrium in my opinion is the key to hapiness and controlling stress and energy levels.

This concludes todays lesson

Take care Ben, have a safe trip.

Dean

Comment from Ben
Time: October 24, 2007, 12:08 pm

Many thanks for all the comments and suggestions so far. One interesting thing is the references to me doing my dream job, and perhaps the suggestion that this means I should not be have become burned out. I suppose the interesting thing is that no matter what you are doing you can still end up destroying yourself sometimes by doing too much and worrying too much about what other people expect. So, even dream jobs can be exhausting, especially when you have other mental stress to deal with as well from other sources (e.g. grief). But yes, this is my dream job and I wouldn’t change it, I’ll just modify it a bit so it is less draining at times perhaps… The point for me is that whatever the root of the burn out, maybe my list and your comments might lend someone else a hand some time.

@Arpi - “your honesty is disarming” - I think it’s a form of on-line self-phycotherapy!

@VS - Car talk has no pod feed unfortunately, but I’ll try to listen on line, sounds great!

@skip, I am very lucky, no doubt, and yes, try the guitar! Email me if you need some tips on where to start!

@Michael “I like that you are diverging into deeper topics in the Notes from Spain blog” - that is great to hear, it always worries me a bit when I go off topic, but I would like to do it more often (it’s the expectations trap again!)

@Frank - “just take a chill pill, life ain’t so bad!” Pill taken, life better already!

@Luke - I have tried yoga, in fact I did it for about a year a few years back, but in the end I just found the sessions too long and starting getting impatient, which totally defeated the point! I should probably try again some time soon…

@Dean - yes, equillibrium is the key. More guitar and walking, less screen!

And to those who said that the NFS podcasts helped in your burn out periods, well, saying I’m happy and amazed doesn’t come close to expressing how great that is to hear. Thank you.

Comment from ValenciaSon
Time: October 24, 2007, 1:56 pm

You can subscribe to Car Talk on iTunes for free and you can download the podcasts to your iPod.

Comment from Craig
Time: October 24, 2007, 3:01 pm

Glad to hear you’re taking some steps to move through. I’ve been through depression caused by burn-out and I’d recommend one more step: take a long time to “come back”.

Once you begin to feel some good energy again, don’t expend it all. Keep relaxed and don’t let yourself get back into the rat-race.

Comment from Palmer
Time: October 24, 2007, 3:28 pm

Hey, Ben… man, I’m sorry to hear you had gotten to that place. I have had burn-out before and with me, somehow it turned into a depression which was difficult to shake. I had it for a long time. The depression made me completely inert so that I couldn’t do the things I needed to do to get out of it. Glad you’re on the mend and know what to do now. By, the way, if you and Marina ever find the work too much and need help with NIS, NFS or NFM, I’d be happy to move to Madrid for a new job!

Comment from Brandon
Time: October 24, 2007, 8:07 pm

Glad to hear things are looking up again. I was just saying to a friend of mine the other day that how we deal with the pain and hardships in life is at least as important as how we enjoy the good times- maybe more important. Anyway, I’m not worried about you; sounds like you know what you’re doing.
I checked out the podcasts you mentioned and enjoyed them, especially All Songs Considered. I’d like to see Death at a Funeral, too. Where in Madrid can I find it playing?

Comment from Jon Hundt
Time: October 25, 2007, 4:33 pm

Ben, I like your list, but I think you should take those long walks in the country without ANY i-Pod or web-blog pod-casts. Just leave that thing at home for a while. Any country road or city park should offer more than enough visual and aural stimulation; I think you’re just going crazy from all the computers in your life.

Good on you for learning the guitar. Sling that thing on your back for your next country walk. Sit down somewhere quiet and play for a while. Hear yourself making music in the country, instead of listening tosomeone else blabbing on about their own special interests for a while..

If you need any guitar help, just let me know. I’ve been playing for 40 years, and that’s what keeps my feet on the ground.

jon

Comment from Luis
Time: October 25, 2007, 7:26 pm

Life is not to be taken too seriously without the good f*cking and the good restaurants, so there you have two more ways to reboot for the burnt out.

Don´t be so hard on you, your blog posts don´t seem at all uninspirational, so far !!.

Comment from Ben
Time: October 25, 2007, 7:45 pm

@VS - you are right, got it!
@Craig - I will! Going away this weekend and had planned to take videocamera, podcasting kit etc, but just taking the camera and nothing else!
@Palmer - You’ll be the first to know when we can afford an employee!
@Brandon - Cine Ideal - see entradas.com
@Jon - Hey, that’s cool, a real guitarist! See the latest post, follow the link, watch the video and laugh…
@ Thanks Luis, I’ll errr, add both to the list!

Comment from Mark
Time: October 25, 2007, 8:37 pm

Likewise I can reiterate what you and others have said, I find getting outside four walls in the open air works wonders. A walk is good but something that gets the heart going a bit (doesn’t have to be that much) is even better.

Earlier this year I was feeling vexed due to a multitude of reasons but nothing in particular. My work involves repairing electrical/electronic stuff so that involves reading manuals, many hours on the PC/internet and time on the phone. Decided I needed to do something that didn’t involve spending time indoors processing information and especially away from anything that needs to be plugged in! Too much time “inside my head” thinking about stuff.

Having a love for nature, I wanted to do something practical but in a non “tree hugging” way. Initially I tried looking for some conservation volunteer projects in Spain, but couldn’t find much. I ended up spending two weeks working in a national park in south east Iceland on the side of a glacier. Quite physical and sometimes dirty work but fun. It was great to be in the fresh air doing something tangible and getting a bit of exercise at the same time. I felt “burnt out” at the end of the day but a good “burnt out” . Not that hours in front of the PC tiredness.

Now back home I try to get more exercise than I did and not spend too much time under fluorescent lighting in the office/workshop. Not always easy at this time of year! However, I felt much better after going for a brisk walk this lunchtime listening to the wind rustling the trees than if I’d spent it watching something on TV or the internet.

Changing the subject I agree with others that “Car Talk” from NPR is worth a listen (http://www.cartalk.com/ct/review/index.jsp ). Two guys doing a car advice phone in show doesn’t sound the most interesting of shows but their humour makes for an informative entertaining show. I stumbled on it via WRN “World Radio Network” www.wrn.org via satellite (sky channel 0122) , but it goes out across the USA on stations that take NPR. Not too difficult to find it being streamed via various American radio stations on the Net at about 3 or 4pm GMT Saturdays.

Comment from Andrew
Time: October 26, 2007, 11:13 am

Are you all wimps?
:-O

Comment from Gary
Time: October 26, 2007, 5:49 pm

Is bur out some kind of euphamism for mrga hangover

Comment from Edith
Time: October 27, 2007, 8:02 pm

Hi Ben,

No, you are not a whimp, definitely not! In my book, openly admitting that you have reached your limits is something very positive. People - especially men - are often encouraged to keep up a stiff upper lip and to pretend that everything is OK.

Losing a loved one is no picnic and one needs time to come to terms with that, even though life goes on. Taking on more work will not make the sadness go away.

‘Rebooting’ sounds like a great idea, and I’m sure you have got Marina’s support!

Depression and burnout are no strangers to me, and these are some of my favorite remedies:

1. Physical exercise, preferably of the outdoor kind; staying indoors all day will often worsen your mood. This is especially important if winter depresses you.

2. Focus on activities which you enjoy and which give you energy;

3. Don’t watch the news too often if it depresses or upsets you;

4. Eat healthy, tasty food with lots of fruits and vegs;

5. Cut down on the alcohol;

6. Don’t ignore signals like fatigue, irritability, moodiness, etc.;

7. Enjoy listening to your favorite music every day;

8. Enjoy nature, a good movie or a good book.

Comment from Edith
Time: October 27, 2007, 8:34 pm

9. I forgot to mention comedy! No matter how cheesy or tacky, if it makes you laugh and unwind it will have served its purpose. My favorite show is ‘Keeping Down Appearances’; Hyacinth always has me in stitches even though I know all episodes by heart.

10. Ever considered mindfulness training? I have got a CD by Jon Kabat-Zin called ‘Mindfulness for Beginners’.

P.s.: keep in mind that your Notes in Spain project is a huge success! * thumbs up *

Comment from Pepino (Dave Hall)
Time: October 27, 2007, 10:54 pm

I must admit a long walk on my own really helps to clear the clouds in my head when I’ve got too much going on in there. Like Edith says too, a good laugh is probably the best medicine of all though. Think of who is your daftest friend, and arrange to have dinner with them - without mentioning that you’re feeling worn out of course, as that’ll just turn it into a therapy session (which I guess could be a whole other solution! jeje). Nah, a good belly-laugh works wonders for me.

Mucha suerte

Comment from Edith
Time: October 27, 2007, 11:44 pm

‘Keeping Down Appearances’ - oops, what a silly slip. Of course, I meant ‘Keeping Up Appearances’.

Comment from Ben
Time: October 28, 2007, 9:57 pm

Thanks for the extra comments everyone, Mark, the glacier sounds incredible, lucky you! Edith, a wonderful list, and I agree, comedy is a great remedy. As for mindfulness, I have been dabbling with The Art of Mindful Living by Thich Nhat Hanh http://tinyurl.com/2nvxhd - wonderful stuff! Dave - Yup, you can’t beat the walks!

Comment from Geoff Harrison
Time: March 28, 2008, 4:26 pm

More advice on avoiding burnout…

Me pongo el sol al hombro
y el mundo es amarillo
y si llueve, me mojo,
y no me enojo por que no encojo.

Una lechuga me basta y sobra
para hacer sombra
y qué me importa si no me nombran.

Limpio mi vagón de carga,
duermo una semana larga,
como una porción de pizza
y me vivo de la risa.

Me gusta andar
pero no sigo el camino
pues lo seguro ya no tiene misterio,
me gusta ir con el verano muy lejos
para volver donde mi madre en invierno
y ver los perros que jamás me olvidaron
y los abrazos que me dan mis hermanos,
me gusta, me gusta.

Facundo Cabral
‘No soy de aqui’