The local government in the Autonomous Region of Valencia has come up with a bright idea: immigrants should be made to sign a contract promising to follow Spanish customs and principles (“las leyes, los principios y las costumbres españolas y valencianas“). Only two problems: no one has actually bothered to define exactly what these typical Spanish customs are, and secondly, the Valencian Generalitat (government) has admitted, eventually, that nothing will happen to those that refuse to sign.
“What we are trying to achieve here,” said Rafael Blasco, minister for immigration and citizenship (and silly plans) in the Valencian Government, “is that people that come here integrate themselves not only work-wise, but also that they become fundamentally integrated in our values, our system of living together, our customs, our traditions, and that this integration results in continuing social cohesion…”
So basically, either immigrants to the Valencia region do as the locals do, or the very fabric of society is at risk! Which in turn can easily be taken to mean, “don’t bring your funny customs over here, we’re having none of that, be like us or back you go.” Now there’s a message that’s bound to lead to increased social cohesion!
Fortunately Zapatero’s central government has been quick to tell their Valencian counterparts to shut up, that the only thing that matters is that immigrants comply with Spanish law, which seems fair enough, but one big unknown still remains… what does it mean to follow Spanish customs, principles and traditions?
That’s the question I was tested on this morning on Radio M80′s ‘No somos nadie‘ programme. As a typical foreigner who’s had plenty of time to adapt to Spanish ways, I was put to the test to see whether I’d be up to scratch with the Valencian regime, and had to answer the following key “how Spanish are you?” questions (see how you do too!):
Q. Do you throw cigarette butts, olive stones, serviettes etc on the floor in bars?
A. All the time! (except the cigarette butts…)
Q. Lack of punctuality?
A. I’m still a bit English on that one… so, no.
Q. Do you drunkenly dance Paquito el Chocolatero at fiestas?
A. Ah… Yes!
Q. Do you walk out of restaurants with a wooden toothpick in your mouth?
A. No! (I’m always afraid I’d bump into someone and swallow it!)
Q. Do you slag off your neighbours?
A. Yes 
So how did I do? … They said I failed and should be deported immediately! Vaya…
You can listen to the full radio interview via this mp3 link, read more about the Valencian contract mess in El Pais, and please let me know in the comments:
Would you have passed Radio M80′s test? What Spanish customs are you most fond of that they could have added to the test?
ValenciaSon
30 Apr 08 at 2:58 pm
It makes me wonder what was the motivation for this. Was there any one incident that compelled the Generalitat to impose immigrants to comply to whatever acceptable behavior is? Doesn’t this conflict with whatever official document(s) which exists in Spain, granting rights to individuals for expression and so forth? It strikes me as xenophobic and I’m glad Zapatero denounced it.
Curious
30 Apr 08 at 3:19 pm
I heard the radio interview this morning and I felt curious about your blog, which seems really interesting.
Concerning this contract stuff, well, Spanish (and Valencian) as I am, I must say that I would have failed the test as well. So I should be deported too, he he. Of course, this contract thing is a completely non-sense, and I hope that the valencian goverment forgets about it.
Bye…
BrianA
30 Apr 08 at 3:35 pm
I think this is more political manoeuvring than a serious policy. The PP like to keep having a dig at ZP’s lot who have already rejected this idea. It may also reflect a genuine worry about immigrants (such as me!) not being assimilated into Valencian / Spanish life whilst expecting treatment equal to that received by the local population. That I can sympathise with, but some half-assed test of citizenship won’t make much difference to that problem. Aren’t there similar proposals in the UK? Also note that on the other side of the argument the Valencian parliament want to give their own children citizenship lessons in English to improve their understanding of the modern world.
hellothere
30 Apr 08 at 3:51 pm
These measures sound a bit extreme, and not very feasable, to put it mildly…
Did the news mention why this was being created now?
I was wondering… Would this have anything to do with Spain’s current economic situation and its announced rising unemployment?
Parubin
30 Apr 08 at 4:17 pm
I’m my opinion this contract is pure nonsense since the only thing that matters is that immigrants, as well as native Spaniards, or tourists for that matter, comply with the Spanish laws. That should be enough.
This measure was mentioned in the Partido Popular (right-wing) program for the last national elections (9th of may). They didn’t win the elections and that measure is very unlikely to be passed by a PSOE-controlled parliament.
The Partido Popular (PP) copied this initiative being inspired by similar contracts for immigrants of the same nature that are effective in some other EU countries (France, Belgium, The Netherlands and the UK) .
I believe (please correct me if I’m wrong) in the UK since 2005, immigrants applying for British citizenship should pass an exam on ‘British customs and life in the UK’ and must get 75% of the answers right.
What is even more absurd is that the Valencian Autonomous Government and Administration has not competences over immigration in Spain (an issue in which only the Spanish Government has the power to decide) so they have decided to put through that contact ‘with no effective consequences for those unwilling to sign it’. It couldn’t possibly be any other way.
I believe this has to do more with a ‘trial balloon’ made by the President of the Valencian administration (Francisco Camps, from the PP) and the crisis in his own party (the PP, after having lost the last two general elections is undergoing a nacional leadership crisis). The big-shots in the PP (Alberto Ruiz Gallardón, Esperanza Aguirre and Francisco Camps) are trying to position themselves for trying to get control of the Party should the current leader (Mariano Rajoy) be forced aside and making public their views on a sensitive social issue such as immigration is one way of doing it.
Carl
30 Apr 08 at 4:22 pm
Obviously it’s about Xenophobia, no?
bill
30 Apr 08 at 4:30 pm
Reminds me a bit of Norman Tebbit’s “Cricket Test” back in the 80′s. He suggested (maybe with his tongue in his cheek) that the best way to tell if an immigrant had integrated into English society was by whether they supported England at cricket or not (in those days the majority of immigrants were from cricket playing countries).
Theresa
30 Apr 08 at 5:30 pm
Well, even Spanish women don’t walk around with toothpicks in the corner of their mouths, so I would do okay there. Funny, my husband is Spanish and he doesn’t do that either. Would they send him away too?
tvindy
30 Apr 08 at 5:43 pm
Spanish customs and principles sounds a lot like American family values in that they sound good politically, but no one knows exactly what the terms mean. And if the governement made a serious attempt at an official definition, chaos would ensue.
Last month there was a big brouhaha over Spain’s continued practice of turning back Brazilians when they land in Spain:
http://tinyurl.com/6hweya
Ben
30 Apr 08 at 6:14 pm
@VS – I think a lot of the motivation was actually to piss off ZP, as Brian says.
@Parubin – yes, I’ve seen preparation materials for the UK test in British bookshops, and there is no way I could pass it!
Theresa
30 Apr 08 at 6:19 pm
Just listened to the interview, you came off great Ben. But you really need to learn the words to Paquito el Chocolatero.
luke
30 Apr 08 at 8:04 pm
I know a few people who’ve taken the UK citizen exam and said it was easy but I couldn’t answer half of the questions. It’s taken as a bit of fun by the people I know. Unlike the Valencian policy, it doesn’t say you have to follow British customs, only to be aware of them.
Obviously, the idea came from the US and was implemented after the Bradford riots, the London Underground bombs and a general worry about things such as underage forced marriage, female circumcision, honour killings etc. I doubt it’ll change things much but I think the more we all learn about each other’s cultures the better.
Btw Ben, congratulations on the interview, you came across very well and hopefully helped to chip away, a little, at the bad image us Brits have in Spain.
Edith
30 Apr 08 at 8:31 pm
You did really well on the interview, Ben! * thumbs up *
RE social contracts for immigrants: similar proposals have caused much controversy in Holland, and nobody has been able to coin a definition of ‘authentic Dutch culture’ so far. I think immigrants should make an effort to fit in (e.g. by learning the language and by taking part in community life), but you can’t expect people to simply reject their own cultural upbringing. It just doesn’t work that way.
Katie
1 May 08 at 1:03 am
bien hecho, ben! loved the interview.
Beckett
1 May 08 at 1:09 am
By sheer coincidence, title of a new report about immigration in Spain released yesterday, April 30:
“LA SOCIEDAD ESPAÑOLA ACEPTA
MAYORITARIAMENTE LA INMIGRACIOÌN,
AUNQUE AUMENTAN LAS POSICIONES
INTOLERANTES”
According to the report, 30% of the surveyed Spaniards have xenophobic opinions about immigration.
You can find the full report at: http://www.ceca.es
Jesús
1 May 08 at 2:49 am
——————— ENGLISH ———————
Hello!
I listened your interview in M80 Radio this morning while I am driving to the office and I liked it very much. You seems a nice guy, and I thank you talk so well of Spain and his culture. I personaly like every country in the world, so I love everything that close the costums and way of thinking of people in the world. I consider myself a cosmopolitan, a citizen of the world.
I would like to do the test. I’m from Seville, so I should to do it quite well.
Q. Do you throw cigarette butts, olive stones, serviettes etc on the floor in bars?
A. No, I throw them in the trash can that is usually at your feet
Q. Lack of punctuality?
A. No, I use to be in time (with exceptions)
Q. Do you drunkenly dance Paquito el Chocolatero at fiestas?
A. OF COURSE!!!, this is like the Meca for a muslim: every spanish MUST do it at least once in his/her live, most of all if you are in a BBC celebration (wedding -in spanish, Boda-, baptism -Bautizo- and communion -Comunión- celebrations)
Q. Do you walk out of restaurants with a wooden toothpick in your mouth?
A. No, never
Q. Do you slag off your neighbours?
A. No… well, sometimes (lol)
And here it goes my personal contribution:
Q. Do you say swear words while you are driving?
A. Yes, I drive much better than those bl…y bas..rds (lol)
Q. Have you ever impersonate Chiquito de la Calzada?
A. Unfortunately… yes, but I’m not very proud of it
Finally, a local question (Seville):
Q. Do you like Feria and Semana Santa?
A. No, not very much
So I think I will be deported too, but… where?, can you British people bring me political asylum?, hahaha
I think this blog is visited by a lot of spanish-speaking people, so I would like to translate the text into spanish (sorry, my english is not very well, I’m not just Margaret Thatcher at all)
——————— ESPAí‘OL ———————
¡Hola!
Esta mañana escuché tu entrevista en M80 Radio mientras iba conduciendo hacia la oficina y me gustó mucho. Pareces buena gente, y quiero agradecerte que hables tan bien de España y su cultura. Personalmente me gustan todos los paises del mundo, así que me gusta todo lo que haga acercar las costumbres y la forma de pensar de la gente en el mundo. Me considero un cosmopolita, un ciudadano del mundo.
Me gustaría hacer el test. Soy de Sevilla, así que debería hacerlo bastante bien.
P. ¿Tiras colillas, huesos de aceitunas, servilletas, etc. al suelo de los bares?
R. No, los tiro a la papelera que suele haber a tus pies
P. ¿Eres inpuntual?
R. No, suelo llegar a tiempo (hay exceptiones)
P. ¿Has bailado Paquito el Chocolatero en fiestas bebido?
R. ¡¡¡POR SUPUESTO!!!, esto es como la Meca para un musulmán: todo español DEBE hacerlo al menos una vez en su vida, sobre todo si estás en una celebración BBC (Bodas, Bautizos y Comuniones)
P. ¿Sales de los restaurantes con un palillo de dientes en la boca?
R. No, nunca
P. ¿Hablas mal de tus vecinos?
R. No… bueno, a veces, jajaja
Y aquí va mi aportación personal:
P. ¿Dices tacos mientras conduces?
R. Sí, conduzco mucho mejor que esos p..os cab…es, jajaja
P. ¿Has imitado alguna vez a Chiquito de la Calzada?
R. Desgraciadamente… sí, pero no estoy muy orgulloso de ello
Por último, una pregunta de mi tierra (Sevilla):
Q. ¿Te gusta la Feria y la Semana Santa?
A. No, no mucho
Después de lo visto creo que voy a ser deportado también, pero… ¿adónde?, ¿podéis los británicos brindarme asilo político?, jajaja
Creo que este blog es visitado por mucha gente hispanoparlante, así que voy a traducir el texto al español (lo siento, mi inglés no es muy bueno, no soy precisamente Margaret Thatcher)
Ben
1 May 08 at 8:31 am
Thanks to all of you who liked the interview – it is actually quite scary being interviewed in Spanish on the radio!
@Beckett – the xenophobia stats don’t surprise me, it’s bound to happen in the face of such rapid change.
@Jesus, welcome to the blog! I’m sure there is room for you in the UK, but I would stay in Sevilla, much better!
leftbanker
1 May 08 at 9:15 am
Some of my native-born friends here in Valencia threatened to have me deported because I once made arroz al horno with spinach. Valencianos don’t mind outsiders with atrocious accents, funny clothes, or pagan religious rituals—just don’t mess with their damn food. I was forced to sign a contract with the Generalitat stating that I know the official ingredients of paella, fideuá, esgarraet, etc., and that I would not improvise.
richardksa
1 May 08 at 10:58 am
Putting political posturing aside, it is surely correct that if you wish to move into another’s home you should be aware of their customs. You don’t have to agree with all of them, you may find some quite repulsive, but you have not come here to change them. The onus is on the immigrant to integrate.
That said, if the new country shows intolerance of the immigrant that can lead to severe problems later.
The low birthrate among indigenous Spanish and the high birthrate of the newcomers will change the face of Spain within two generations. Will Spain attempt to become a multicultural society as Britain is failing to be, or will there be a social crisis?
Hopefully there wil be peaceful social cohesion – but will it still be Spanish.
Graeme
1 May 08 at 12:12 pm
The problem with words like integration is that they just end up being an excuse for people to complain about the habits or lifestyle of others. If you live your life in your own way without disturbing other people or doing something seriously illegal then there is no reason for others to complain about you, regardless of whether you behave in the same way as they do or not. As for the contract, it’s just opportunistic politics to try and play on fears about immigration.
Yo
1 May 08 at 4:19 pm
Under current rules, people taking British citizenship are required to take an oath of allegiance or a pledge at a public ceremony, and learn English, Welsh or Gaelic to certain standards.
They also have to pass a citizenship test, which contains questions about British traditions, government and laws.
Mr Byrne said in a speech earlier this month: “I believe we have to win an emotional argument about migration until we change not only the way that newcomers earn their way, but earn their stay.
“Britain is not anti-foreigner. We are not a nation of Alf Garnetts.
“But earning a stay in Britain is not a one-way street.”
A series of public meetings across the country which discussed immigration showed Britons wanted newcomers to speak English, pay their taxes and obey the law, he added.
The minister has also stressed the importance of “reinforcing traditional institutions”.
The paper may look at introducing English language tests for migrants who arrive after marrying British citizens.
Channel 4 News claimed the Green Paper would propose extending the qualification time for citizenship from five years to six.
Immigrants who work in the UK for five years would have to undergo a further 12 months of “probation” before becoming UK nationals, the programme said.
http://www.24dash.com/news/Communities/2008-02-20-Home-Secretary-to-unveil-UK-citizenship-green-paper
EU ministers ask for ‘integration contract’ for immigrants:
http://www.euractiv.com/en/security/eu-ministers-ask-integration-contract-immigrants/article-153662
En Austria, Francia, Holanda y otros países europeos, los inmigrantes están sujetos a un contrato de inmigración, pero claro, eso no encaja en vuestro propósito de insultar a España y a los españoles.
Por cierto, Ben, explica en que consisten esas "tradiciones†que tienen que conocer los inmigrantes en tu país… ¿chistes sobre el tampax de Camilla? ¿conocer los modelitos de Lady Di o la proverbial hipocresía y falsedad de tus compatriotas? ¿cómo tatuarse para parecer un hooligan? ¿cómo decorar la casa con distintos estampados de floripondios y no necesitar aspirinas para el mareo? ¿todo sobre la piratería y el expolio? Estoy intrigada…
Jon Hundt
1 May 08 at 4:33 pm
sometimes I wish that pro-immigrationists would not dismiss every anti-immigrationist act/statement so simply as xenophobia. This just adds to the “us vs. them” problem.
In fact, the terms pro- and anti-immigration are troublesome right from the start. Most of the “anti-immigrationists” I know are not such bad folks. They are not xenophobic in any evil sense; they are people who are concerned about the way their world is changing. They have some cares, and some worries. It would be much better to try to understand their feelings than to dismiss them all as rascist xenophobes who apparently have no right to hold such an opinion.
Suppose you came home from a 3 week vacation and your neighborhood was full of new people speaking a different language, eating different food, and behaving differently from your previous neighbors. You might find that uncomfortable.
If some of them were unsavory characters and stole your car, broke into your house, harrassed your daughter, or robbed your son at knife-point you might jump to a conclusion that these new people were bad news. Would that be a wrong conclusion? Well, everything is relative to the subject’s point of view, isn’t it?
Most of us on this forum like Spain for it’s colorful culture and life-style. I guess a lot of native Spaniards do, too, and they’re proud of their country and their way of life.
It’s NOT wrong to try to protect and maintain the way of life that your people have developed over hundreds of generations. It’s not WRONG to be scared that everything is changing too fast.
Sometimes these things make people react against change; sometimes they react in strange or even unpleasant ways. We can work out these problems if we talk about them and try to understand the other’s viewpoint.
ValenciaSon
1 May 08 at 8:13 pm
We could all use a change in our menu from time to time. It’s also useful to have new ideas and not be closed to change.
mcark
2 May 08 at 3:11 pm
Slag off? Pretending like they don’t exist and you’re the only one in the entire building? That sounds a bit European, not just Spanish!
raul
18 May 08 at 10:48 am
y porque no hacemos una encuesta sobre las costumbres :1.vivir de el estado sin dar golpe y trapichear y beber sin parar durante todo el dia,2.adolescentes que paren como conejas para que el estado las mantenga,y podria seguir me hace mucha gracia este sarcasmo continuo sobre mi pais por parte de los hijos de la gran bretaña ,un consejo porque nos os mirais en el espejo