Comment from Warren
Time: August 5, 2008, 2:44 pm

Then I must equally be a slob (my Spanish wife gave up telling me about napkins years ago)!. At home we have a large polished oak dining table with granite placemats at each setting. This week I have the Spanish inlaws visitng and every meal time they take out the table cloth (along with the kitchen roll in place of the napkins) and lay it on top of the table and over the placemats I’ve explained that they don’t need to do this as we have plenty of placemats. Their response? ‘… para las migas de pan’. Of course, now that they can’t see the table, the hot cups and plates end up directly on top of the table.

Comment from Edith
Time: August 5, 2008, 2:51 pm

We always used to have cloth napkins at home, I use paper napkins these days.

Comment from bill
Time: August 5, 2008, 3:02 pm

Yes it is a Spanish obsession (or we English are collectively slobs). I remember Spanish friends complaining in English pubs because there were none of those boxes of serviettes on all the tables. Each Spanish household I know has wardrobes and chests stuffed full of table cloths, napkins, bed sheets, etc, and they still give each other more as presents. Apparently people even used to drive over to Portugal to bulk buy the stuff cheaply.

Also the duvet (a godsend to those of us who hate making beds) only recently seems to be catching on in Spain. Many Spanish households I know still struggle with sheets and blankets.

Comment from Edith
Time: August 5, 2008, 4:24 pm

@ Bill,

We used to have all this stuff at home too, and I’m not from Spain. I chucked everything excpet for the napkins. I guess it’s a generation thing.

Comment from BrianA
Time: August 5, 2008, 4:31 pm

They need them Ben because they wear short sleeved shirts

Comment from Tom Clarke
Time: August 5, 2008, 5:05 pm

Nah, we used to do this at most meals in England too. Not as a student, of course, but at home. They’re handy and just plain old good table manners for me. Then again, I’m all in favour of the municipal salad bowl system. Maybe I’m not English at all?!

We now have about 4 different grades of napkins and table cloths… and woe betide if I accidentally put grade #2 napkins on the table instead of grade #3… but that’s another debate

Comment from Jon Hundt
Time: August 5, 2008, 5:31 pm

funny - in California we ’set’ the table, there in Spain you ‘lay’ the table, and here in Holland we ‘make’ the table…

Comment from Marie-Claude
Time: August 5, 2008, 6:03 pm

I think it is a question of generation. I was brought up in France using napkins all the time and brought our children up with this useful piece of equipment. But they do not use napkins in their home with their partners and when they come to stay with us, the paartners’ napkin stay unfolded!

Comment from iliana
Time: August 5, 2008, 6:15 pm

I’m guilty…. I’m obsesses with napkins too. I’m Venezuelan, marry with a N. Irish boy, he doesn’t need napkins (use his trousers hahaha!) and laughing at me, said I waste so much paper no good for the environment I’m sure he is right.

By the way I enjoy the forum I can see people talking without any geopolitical, social, or racist insults like other sites, very nice

Cheers!

Comment from Edith
Time: August 5, 2008, 6:30 pm

Napkins (paper or otherwise) have a useful purpose because you can wipe your mouth on them so you won’t leave unsightly stains on your glass of wine. So far, so good.

But imagine living in a posh household where they stick to real old-fashioned ‘upper-class’ (?!) food and table etiquette! You’d have to worry all the time about which fork to use, how to hold your glass of wine, what to say (or not to say) before starting the meal, etc! In Holland, there are people who refuse to say ‘enjoy your meal’ because they consider it to be vulgar. * raised eyebrows emoticon * IMO, there is something obsessive-compulsive about this kind of etiquette! And yet some people still insist on it.

Comment from Jon Hundt
Time: August 5, 2008, 6:58 pm

Bill said:

“Also the duvet (a godsend to those of us who hate making beds) only recently seems to be catching on in Spain. Many Spanish households I know still struggle with sheets and blankets….”

man, I hate those duvet things. Once the comforter is inside of it, it is (as you said) very easy to make up the bed in the AM. But stuffing the comforter in there - that is truly a pain - especially if you have had a drink or two first!

Comment from Jon Hundt
Time: August 5, 2008, 7:01 pm

@ iliana:

we are a pretty friendly bunch here - if Ben doesn’t rile up the Spanish readers!

you’re from Venezuela, he’s from N Ireland - where do you all stay now?

Comment from raytibbitts
Time: August 5, 2008, 7:13 pm

As with Warren, my first thoughts on this turned to an absolutely grandiose table, occupying more than its fair share of the diningroom, that my Mother-in-Law has at her house. It has a solid, thick glass tabletop and the structure of it is beautiful and ornate, as if it were meant to be visible through the glass top.

However, it is always covered with one of the numerous tablecloths the in-laws have for it, causing it to appear as if it is simply a large table, as none of the craftsmanship of the table is visible during any meals.

As for napkins. I don’t remember a meal back home in California, when we didn’t set the table with a napkin (paper or otherwise) at each place setting. (The nice ones when we had company over, and paper when it was just us.)

In fact, it struck me the first few times that I ate out in Spain, that the ‘napkins’ that were provided by the restaurants were more like tissue paper, and not well suited for the purpose of being a napkin. And of course, I deeply embarrassed my wife when I reached down and picked up a napkin she had crinkled up and let fall to the floor, not realizing that it wasn’t bad manners to let things fall from the table to the floor, but that it WAS bad manners to pick something up off the floor, even if you had thought that your wife had accidentally let it fall there.

Comment from AndrewW
Time: August 5, 2008, 7:37 pm

It’s a communal tea towel for our house LOL

I think napkins would be much better instead of paper. Although with oily Spanish food I don’t think they would last five minutes, especially with food like a bravas sauce or paprika jaja.

Duvets are the best invention ever. I hate sleeping under an array of sheets and scratchy bed covers. One heavy duvet for winter, one light one for summer, and for the hotter nights, I just use the duvet cover (like a double sheet..).

No surprise duvets aren’t catching on in a place as hot as Spain!

Comment from Nina
Time: August 5, 2008, 8:04 pm

Funnily, this is not only a Spanish obsession but also an Italian one. In fact, my father won’t be sitting content at the table until there is a napkin besides his plate. However, in Switzerland (where I live), they don’t use putting napkins on the table. Actually, I also feel uncomfortable when I’m invited over by Swiss friends and there are no napkins on the table. I often have to ask for a napkin while eating, because most of the time I’ll need one. And at the end of a meal my napkin is always totally crinkled and grunchy I don’t know how and why others keep theirs nice and clean…?!

Comment from iliana
Time: August 5, 2008, 9:36 pm

Hi Jon
I live now on N.Ireland

I also think that our latin culture eat some of the food with the hands so we constantly need napkins….my irish family always look each other and make funny faces when I cook some gambas head, legs and everything…the only way to eat is get your hands dirty, but they love it

Sorry my english is not great!!!
Cheers!

Comment from luke
Time: August 5, 2008, 10:34 pm

I think the British used to do napkins and tablecloths but since the 60s they went out of fashion. Of course every Spanish house I’ve been to is full of that stuff including lace doilies. Normally everything is immaculately clean but there is one house I go to where they have napkins and tableclothes which are really dirty. It seems that in Spain you can be a slob but you have to lay the table with napkins, dirty or not.

Comment from Marina
Time: August 6, 2008, 3:51 pm

I’m like Nina… I just can’t do without my napkin. I used to suffer a lot in the UK, but my mother in law finally noticed and started to have very nice paper ones ready when I was around:-))

However I still prefer material ones, and those are the ones that anyone coming to the Curtis-Diez house gets, but I have to say that in most of the houses of our Spanish friends paper napkins or roll is used. I think I’m a bit old fashioned for this kind of thing, but it gives me a homely feeling.

@Ben, don’t be cheeky, half of the time you forget more than the napkins;-) water and glasses are equally bound to be left behind.

@Raytibbits, let me disagree, even if the table itself is nice for a social meal a nice lay table with a proper table cloth is more inviting… I guess this is cultural again jajaja.

and finally @Bill. It is true that duvets are more convinient as it takes half a second to make the bed, however with Spanish climate they only work properly in the winter. From May on to October we do use one layer sheet (no duvet cover) and I love it as well… specially when someone makes the bed for you!!!

Comment from Ben
Time: August 6, 2008, 3:58 pm

I think the answer then to one of my questions above is, I must be a slob!

Comment from Edith
Time: August 6, 2008, 4:43 pm

@ Marina,

If my mother were still alive, she would have been very pleased by your comments!

Some of the things she never got used to: people putting their elbows on the table - or one hand under the table - and serving food out of pans! She always used to say, ‘this is a house, not a soup kitchen’!

Comment from Jonk
Time: August 6, 2008, 11:34 pm

What a fascinating discussion over something that is such a small detail of life! As someone who always wears my food proudly on my face at nearly all meals, and struggles often for lack of napkins, I’m happy to read this post.

What are the Spanish words for napkins? Do they differ for cloth and paper?

Thanks

Comment from Svatos
Time: August 6, 2008, 11:59 pm

Marina,

“homely” is a word that means “not pretty” or “not attractive”, usually referring to a person.

“homey” is probably the word you were thinking of, which of course means “reminding of the comforts of home”

I can’t offer anyone advice on the Spanish language but at least I can help with English!!

Comment from Svatos
Time: August 7, 2008, 12:01 am

I’m sorry Marina! I was wrong! I have never heard the word “homely” used in the way you used it, but apparently it is an acceptable usage. I checked the dictionary and was red-faced. Forgive me…

Comment from ValenciaSon
Time: August 7, 2008, 2:40 am

Every once in a while I get out the cloth servietas because I’m trying to be more green and I also think it makes for a more inviting table. Then we get lazy and just use paper towels.

Comment from Katie
Time: August 7, 2008, 6:54 pm

so the English don’t use napkins? verrrrry interesting. in the States, napkins (paper or cloth–in my house we like cloth) are an essential part of the table.

@raytibbits: yes! does anyone know why the napkins (more like wax-covered tissue paper) in Spanish bars are so very very bad? is it because they’re so cheap it doesn’t matter if you use a lot? there must be a reason…

Comment from Marina
Time: August 7, 2008, 8:01 pm

No problem Svatos!!! I spend my time correcting Ben on the mic, and I appreciate any correction when needed in this case at least I’ve learnt another meaning of homely;-)

@ValenciaSon and Jonk the proper spelling of napkin in Spanish is “servilleta”

@Katie, I agree to think that the reason for those thin napkins is just that they are cheaper. Generally they are used at the bar or for tapas, and proper paper or cloth napkins are supplied for a proper sitting down meal.
By the way you should have seen the Thai paper napkins the are much thiner than the Spanish ones!!!!

@Edith, to tell you the truth I’m not very bothered by the elbows on the table, in fact my father used to pinch me if did that when I was a kid so I’m a bit rebel about it.

Regarding serving food on pans… I agree with your mum!!!

Comment from bill
Time: August 8, 2008, 9:46 am

Am I to conclude that in Spain, when eating salad, it is essential to have a napkin, but you can happily forego the plate since everybody eats out of the same bowl anyway?

Comment from ValenciaSon
Time: August 8, 2008, 12:02 pm

Am I to conclude that in the UK, when eating salad, it is essential to have a separate bowl, but you can happily forego the napkin since nobody wipes off their food residue?

Comment from bill
Time: August 8, 2008, 12:37 pm

Nope in the UK when you have guests around you give them the napkin and the separate plate/bowl. If it’s just you and maybe your flatmate/partner/whatever then it’s an optional extra - I guess it depends on what you’re eating and how confident you feel about cleanly placing it in your mouth.

Comment from Richardksa
Time: August 8, 2008, 1:56 pm

Interesting last night; out with a group that consisted of English and American visitors and English, Canadian and Spanish locals, only the lady from Yorkshire required a seperate plate to eat from! And the table (and, ok, the floor,) was heaped with scrunched up paper napkins at the end of the meal. Except for the lady from Yorkshire who folded hers and placed it on her empty plate!

Comment from Edith
Time: August 8, 2008, 4:37 pm

Our history teacher used to tell hilarious stories on medieval table etiquette, which is a bit of an oxymoron. According to his stories, even castle-dwellers used their pets’ fur as a napkin.

Comment from ValenciaSon
Time: August 9, 2008, 12:36 am

There’s medication now for that lady from Yorkshire.

Comment from Bill
Time: August 10, 2008, 3:32 pm

I’ve just spent a few nights with the Spanish in-laws and kept an eye-open on the availability of napkins. In fact the first evening we ate a light supper of tortilla and embutidos with bread in the garden - and believe it or not - no napkins! In fact I had to remind them to bring them out. Maybe it’s me who has now become obsessed with napkins! Thanks Ben

Comment from Ben
Time: August 11, 2008, 4:35 pm

Sorry Bill!

Comment from Perro Callejero
Time: August 13, 2008, 12:01 pm

I happen to have been thinking of this topic just the other day! But for being obsessed with napkins, Spain seems to put awfully low-quality ones on the tables of your typical restaurant

It seems like it takes 300 of those wax-paper type things that say “Gracias por su visita” on them to wipe away the mess from just one bite of tapas! They’re so thin!

I come from an area where fried chicken is an art and a religion As such, each table is typically stocked with a roll of literal paper towels to clean up the mess. Gotta love culture differences!

Comment from kathy
Time: August 14, 2008, 9:09 am

in my house napkins are optional-only if we’re eating something really messy like spaghetti or if we have guests do we get them out, but i’m a bit of a slob so i usually need them more than other people. i don’t know what it is, but i have a hard time getting food cleanly into my mouth! interesting comment about serving food from pots-doesn’t it just make a lot of extra work and dishes to not serve from the pots?

Comment from Edith
Time: August 14, 2008, 12:34 pm

You’ve got a point there Kathy. But without the pots and pans, it look so much nicer on the dinner table!

Comment from Louise
Time: August 16, 2008, 9:12 pm

Napkins really are an obession with the Spanish. I was brought up using paper napkins and my husband & I use them with most meals. But it’s in a Spanish home that you tend to find the wide variety of paper and cloth napkins that have different grades depending on day of the week and guests. My mother in law has plain paper ones for everyday meals, colourful paper ones for weekend family meals and about 6 different sets of cloth ones with matching tableclothes that have a whole different grade again. The whole thing can get very confusing, therefore i gave up trying to set the table along time ago, she’ll only come behind me and change it anyway.

Comment from Anne Renucci
Time: August 18, 2008, 6:00 am

Love this “Great Napkin Debate”. When I was 20 (early 70s) I spent a summer living with an Italian family who always used cloth napkins. Each member of the family had a slightly different patterned napkin ring in which their napkin was kept from meal to meal so that constant washing was not necessary. I fell in love with this habit & took home a set of beautiful wooden napkin rings each with a different, intricately inlaid design in varied colors. I managed to persuade my Glaswegian family to actually use them & it quickly became a habit. When I married & moved to England, I kept my napkin habit but found it uncommon in the homes of friends. We then moved to Michigan & I found I needed & used my large stock of cloth napkins as everyone I knew used them at every meal. We are now in Arizona but moved too recently to have been invited to a family home. I shall now be agog to see if napkins are used. Who would dream that such a mundane item could spark so much interest. One final point - I am a snob & consider paper napkins to be unacceptable on my table.

Comment from raytibbitts
Time: August 18, 2008, 6:14 am

@Anne

Yes, you are.

Comment from Ben
Time: August 18, 2008, 7:49 am

@Anne, I know, who knew napkins would produce so many comments!!