“Personal Development” cynics look away now.
This might get a bit ‘self-help’. Those that believe they have reached their fullest potential in every respect need read no further. For I have been listening to an audiobook by the almighty Tony Robbins and I am full of the power of infinite possibilities!
The book is called ‘Awaken the Giant Within’, and as tacky as that might sound to your average low-self-esteem Brit, it’s damn fine stuff. One of the exercises in the audio version we just listened to consists of making two lists: ‘Beliefs that empower me’ and ‘Beliefs that limit me’.
Want to know mine? OK, the ‘empower me’ list, which certainly DIDN’T look like this just a few months ago, before I embarked on this “development” journey, currently looks like this:
1. With hard work, I can do anything.
2. I am intelligent.
3. I know how to take ‘massive action’ to reach goals.
4. I can learn new skills all the time.
5. Happiness is available at all times.
Now before you all tell me what a conceited bstd I am, here is what my ‘Beliefs that limit me’ list still looks like all too often:
1. The world is trying to kill me
2. Am I clever and able enough to understand complex things like Spanish accountancy systems, legal stuff, errr… google adwords?
Hmmm. OK, lets start with list no. 1 and that apparently conceited contention that ‘I can do anything’.
I worked that out the other day. It’s not bragging, it’s logic. I probably got the idea from some other Tony Robbins type I was listening to at the time, but it goes like this: “If I can move to Spain, if I can learn Spanish, meet a Spanish girl, get married to her, set up a business with her, and have that business support us… then I can do anything!”
Right? Well, anything I choose to set my mind to at least… I mean, I don’t want to be Prime Minister or anything like that, but if I did… who knows? The point is that I think this logic works for anything, and anyone.
Pick one or two things you are proud of in your life, and say to yourself, ‘well, if I can do that… I can do anything!’ Once you realise that simple fact, your possibilities are limitless. Maybe it was a job you got, an exam you passed, a skill you’ve developed… if you could aceive that, then why couldn’t you acheive anything else you really set your mind to?
It’s all proof of your unlimited capabilities. All we need sometimes is a bit of personal development, or (god forbid!) ‘self help’ to realise it.
OK, back to the list. Items 2, 3 and 4 (I am intelligent, I know how to take ‘massive action’ to reach goals, I can learn new skills all the time) are obvious… even if I’ve had to work bloody hard to belive them! …but what about this ‘Happiness is available at all times’ stuff?
OK, hard to believe ALL the time, many of us have lived through life-changingly horrible episodes, but I have a book here at home that I try and pick up every now and again, the first chapter of which is called something like ‘a brand new 24 hours’. (I’ll list the book name in the reading list at the bottom).
It goes on to say that every day when we wake up we should be happy to have a brand new 24 hours ahead of us, and that we should enjoy every one of them. Pretty damn obvious when you think about it. What’s the alternative, being miserable about that fact? That seems absurd as long as we are basically healthy, fed, and alive… and alive with possible endeavors and encounters.
Now lets get to the juicy stuff, list 2, my ‘limiting beliefs’. How about point 1? I don’t truly believe that the world it trying to kill me as such, but I am mildly phobic and a touch on the OCD side when it comes to things like the imagined war of attrition between me, human being, and modern environmental unpleasantness like pollution etc, that I used to feel would invade my personal physical integrity at any given opportunity. (Not any more, now I know our defenses are strong!)
Number 2, am I clever enough to understand and properly implement tricky things that involve statistical analysis, like google adwords… or to work properly within the challenging Spanish accountancy sytem etc… I hate things like this, that appear to be such ‘hard work’, and beyond the analytical side of my brain that I never had much confidence in…
Now before this gets a bit ‘poor me’, the point of doing this exercise was to clearly point out that those 2 main limiting beliefs are ABSURD! And they have limited me hugely!
Belief 1, that the world is a scary place, helped put me off going to America twice this summer, to conferences I was keen to attend but just felt a bit overwhelmed by. Belief 2 has put me off doing things that would have made a huge difference to our business by now… luckily I still worked on a lot of other things that did make a big difference, but still there was a lot of avoidance going on…
The point is that the crushing power of limiting beliefs is obvious, and huge. What are yours?
Make a list like the one above though, and you might come to the same astounding revelation that I did: that the empowering beliefs clearly cancel out the limiting ones.
‘With hard work, I can do anything’, clearly beats ‘Am I clever enough to…?’, and ‘The world is trying to kill me’ is clearly no match for ‘I am intelligent’ and ‘Happiness is available at all times’.
Since listening to that Tony Robbins audio book (and other inspiring materials this summer), and making that list, those limiting beliefs are vanishing, faster that I imagined possible… I’ve started work on them, and I’m not going to let up.
They’ve been on top of me for about 30 years, and no matter what their origin, I have a feeling they were reinforced by a heavily competitive private school education. A school that prided itself on telling us we were “above average”, but that only a precious few could be top-flight, triple A students…
I came out of that school system at 18 with ABB A-level results, probably above average and pretty damn good, but about all I’d been lead to think I could achieve. I wasn’t considered a Triple A student, and didn’t consider myself one.
Well now I do. Thank goodness for all those personal development books, and all the things I’ve done as a result of reading them, that helped me come to that conclusion.
They’ve helped us pay off a significant chunk of our mortgage this month, the result of setting a goal in September that I thought was just plain stupid at the time… and then achieved two months early… …by taking massive action on everything I’ve been learning and getting what I think are some of the best damn Spanish learning materials on the net (our work at notesinspanish.com) into the hands of as many people as possible.
Those books and audio programmes mean we are now booked to go to America next year to a conference just like the ones I backed out of twice this summer. They mean that I can clearly see those limiting beliefs for what they are, and shall not be controlled by THEM any more.
Why do I write about all this? Because I always like to share what I am passionate about, and I always work on the assumption that there must be at least one other person out there that is interested in what I have to say at any give time.
If that’s you, and you’ve got that tingling sensation that you too need to get your beliefs in order, that you are ready to embrace the idea that “I can do anything” and realise any of your goals and dreams… be it changing your job, starting a business, getting that boy/girl, changing country, learning a language, moving house, writing that book, breaking out of a mould, being as successful as someone you admire in your field or beyond … then here’s my ‘get to it’ reading list. Let me know how it works out:
Personal Development:
Awaken the Giant Within: Anthony Robbins (Start here. I liked the audio version, from audible.com. DO the exercises, and don’t be put off by his exuberant, almost preacher-like style. His energy is what got him where he is, and wants you to be too.)
Peace is Every Step: Thich Nhat Hanh (Wonderful vietnamese monk in the Dalai Lama mould. This is where the ‘Brand New 24 Hours’ extract comes from – infinite peace and wisdom lies within.)
Working for Yourself, Business, ‘Entrepreneurship’ etc
If you want to be an ‘entrepreneur’, work for yourself already in any respect, or hope to start a business, then these are ‘musts’, no matter what field you are in:
No B.S. Wealth Attraction For Entrepreneurs – Dan Kennedy (He is a big, brash, super-capitalist no BS pain in your limiting-beliefs ass, but he’s totally what you need to be reading if you are responsible for your own professional and financial present and future).
No BS Time Management for Entrepreneurs – Dan Kennedy (Right on the nail about setting goals and more, it’s not just about time management…)
The Emyth Revisited – Michael Gerber (If what you do or want to do can in any way be considered a ‘business’, small like ours or otherwise, this guy will make sure it doesn’t fail in the first 12 months… 5 years… etc)
These books have helped me a great deal. You will discover many others as a result of reading these, and don’t be put off if some of them were written 10, 20, even 50+ years ago… there are underlying truths that don’t change… But do remember this: Personal Development leads to incredible results, usually in a very short period of time, say 12 months, even 6, but you MUST implement everything you learn, fast, and without hesitation. Do let me know how it works out.
John
7 Nov 08 at 1:06 pm
Thanks Ben, I am just re-loading my IPod with the Tony Robbins audio course again.
He’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I take a lot from his energetic preacher style. Its easy to get beaten down by the negativity of others around you (least of all yourself). For me he is like a much needed antidote.
It easy to be cynical about these kind of authors but we all experience self-doubt and lack of confidence (especially learning a language!!) and you can really miss out on life because of it. At times I seem to really struggle but my faulty thinking stops in its tracks when I remember his catchphrase “the past does not equal the future”. However cynical you are its difficult to argue with that statement.
Congratulations Ben and Marina on your achievements with NIS. I’m sure it will continue.
Saludos,
John
P.S. I share the same surname of the great explorer Ernest Shackleton. His family motto is ‘Fortitudine Vincimus’ – “By endurance we conquer”. I’ve adopted it and think about it often, especially when trying to understand my Asturian neighbours!
bill (Legazpi)
7 Nov 08 at 1:15 pm
@Ben – you are indeed one of Thatcher’s children. Well done mate
Tom
7 Nov 08 at 1:50 pm
Ben, I’m probably one of the so-called cynics (skeptics might have been more apt). I’ve got to say that my first reaction to all this is: if this inspires you to go on to do great things with your life, then that’s awesome. My second thought is: at what point does your self-assuredness and confidence of success negate the purpose of these guides?
I guess what I mean is: is reading these guides part of an attempt to achieve a concrete goal or is it a continual, ongoing, potentially unwinnable challenge to yourself? Can you picture a time when you won’t ever have to read another of these guides? Or is that question indicative of complete misunderstanding on my part?
jonk
7 Nov 08 at 2:39 pm
Interesting comment from Tom, I think some people get addicted to the emotional high of knowing they can ahieve anything and want to hear it over and over, rather than going out and doing it.
Now I personally doubt that Ben fits into this category.
I haven´t read much personal development books, but have interacted with it and it´s exciting to see where Ben is coming from, I share that seed. If you look at the times we live in, the resources that we in the West have, there´s really no excuse not to achieve our goals. The barriers exist solely in our heads.
Thanks for the reminder Ben.
John Ross
7 Nov 08 at 3:09 pm
@Ben,
I’ve only skim-read your post and I don’t intend to read it more carefully – I think you know my opinion of the kind of self-help stuff you like so much (I repeat, I am not including how-to books in that). I just want to point out that you are under and overestimating yourself at the same time. If you have an “I can do anything” mentality at the moment, there is an obvious biological reason – you have recently become a father. Nature gives people this kind of emotional boost at certain times of life – when you are in love, when you get married, when you have children – because, for one thing, if it didn’t, we might well run away from those frightening situations. So the good news is that it’s you (and your family) giving yourself the hormonal boost that brings this on-top-of-the-world feeling, not a self-help book. The bad news is that, sooner or later, it’ll wear off, and you won’t get it back by reading.
Parubin
7 Nov 08 at 3:30 pm
Interesting points made by Tom and JohnRoss. I guess I’m too one of the cynics or skeptics. My skepticism increased when I read the approach to ‘happiness’, such an abstract and volatile concept, I found it strange to learn that it was “available at all times”.
Happiness is…. a warm gun, said the Beatles. To me happiness is what you experience when you don´t have to think about being happy. It is a concept with a definition that carries a contradiction in itself, a bit like the answer about ‘how much money are you happy with’. I think you have enough money when money is not a issue anymore. How true.
Parubin
7 Nov 08 at 3:36 pm
@ John : When I’ve been high on love I just felt stupid and clumsy, not on-top-of-the-world at all. It was a great feeling though, a warm rush in your blood lasting more than any other drug, but just like any other drug, it wears off : A sad truth.
Ben
7 Nov 08 at 4:16 pm
@John, I love your adopted family motto! And you are right, Tony Robbins is indeed a “much needed antidote” to moments of doubt or lack of focus, a great pick me up. I also love the ‘our past is not our future’ idea, and couldn’t agree more.
@Bill, ‘not understanding politics’ is still on my limiting beliefs (or not!) list, so I couldn’t tell you if I’m one of Thatchers children or not! I don’t have a Porsche or any shares yet though…
@Tom – “Can you picture a time when you won’t ever have to read another of these guides?” Well, half of the books above are about business and “entrepreneurship” as they call it, and I don’t think there is ever a time when one can’t learn more about that if your continued financial security depends on doing these things well and keeping up to date with changing trends.
As for the more personal development ones, who knows… I think I have alrady taken on board many of the major principles of ‘doing better’ and getting further, and am acting on them and getting great pleasure from doing so, but it wouldn’t surprise me if I keep reading them.
A lot of it is related to psychology, human potential, spirituality, all of which I find fascinating. For me it just seems logical to try to develop and use our mind and abilities to their fullest potential instead, for example, of settling for being in a rut.
@Jonk, that’s it, it’s all about doing, not just reading…
@John Ross – “I’ve only skim-read your post and I don’t intend to read it more carefully” – You do ‘provocative’ down to a tee. Well done. I have only skim read your comment and don’t intent to read it more carefully either.
@Parubin, I agree that we need to have a bit of ‘relativity’ to properly recognise happiness or sadness (i.e. it’s only in relation to sadness that we understand happiness), but I also think a lot of us could be a lot more happy a lot more of the time and under ‘normal’ circumstances.
John Ross
7 Nov 08 at 4:55 pm
@Parubin
<>
LOL. Yes, I’ve been there, done that, got the bullet hole in my foot to prove it, too. I suspect that as well as the “king-of-the-world” effect, we have mechanisms that do the opposite – we all know that an attractive person can create a kind of mental paralysis in us, the “babbling idiot” syndrome. I think it’s probably a biological process to stop us wasting our time courting a mate who is unattainable, one that corresponds to a more “alpha” male, maybe.
Sociobiology attempts to introduce economic ideas into explanations of animal behaviour. A shark, for example, has to move quickly to attack its victim, i.e., “invest” a lot of energy, so you can reduce your chances of being attacked by simply watching it – its mini-brain then does a kind of calculation of the chances of your escaping and if you’re lucky decides not to take the risk.
So my completely unsupported theory is that in sex / love there are two contradictory mechanisms, one pushing us into action – the one that impels us to do the most inane courting activities – and another saying “don’t do it” (i.e., save your biological investment for someone more “at your level”), even to the point where you sabotage yourself. You know you are urbane and irresistible, but your mouth decides to present you as an imbecile. Another result is that when you are in love, these two contradictory effects guarantee that, whichever comes out on top, it is always a unique experience.
I repeat, this is totally unsupported theory on my part, but I think this is part of why people like Ben and myself end up with partners (“mates”) in a different society / country, whatever. You go to a different place, you take yourself out of your immediate “pack” environment – there are no “alphas” anymore, neither male or female, or at least you don’t recognize or respond to them in the same way. And the other person doesn’t have you pegged in the local pack hierarchy, either, so you can get away with presenting yourself as an alpha even if you aren’t one by nature. Then you go on to “invest” an awful lot of energy in a courtship… but that is a much longer tale.
John Ross
7 Nov 08 at 5:57 pm
@Ben
“You do ‘provocative’ down to a tee. Well done. I have only skim read your comment and don’t intent to read it more carefully either.”
It’s your blog. Fair enough if you don’t want to read my comments. It wasn’t intended to be provocative, and I didn’t mean to suggest there was anything wrong with your post – I only mentioned the skim-reading to explain that I wasn’t going to enter a discussion about your self-help books, and I see no reason to apologize for saying so. You write this stuff for a living. I post comments because it amuses me to do so. If you’re going to be so touchy about things that I have to check everything I write twice before posting, you’re taking the fun away.
Stephen
7 Nov 08 at 6:36 pm
Can I pour a bucket of cynical British cold water over the article?
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. ”
Ben and Marina come across as being already very positive people. Enough to make you sick.
I think on this website you should recommend, Despertando Al Gigante Interior: Un Viaje de Autodescubrimeinto Hacia La Realizacion Personal.
Jon
7 Nov 08 at 8:40 pm
Ben – good on you, friend. I am 100% uninterested in self-help books, but one day my son brought out a Tony Robbins cassette tape that I had unknowingly acquired somewhere. We listened to it as we painted an apartment, and I found his approach quite clear and uplifting.
I thought that T Robbins stated a lot of what-should-be-obvious, but sometimes we forget.
A person with a mission/goal can be an incontrivertible force. If anyone doubts that, I suggest a look at B. Obama; he set out to acheive the impossible, and acheived it!
Keep on with your “self-improvement” Ben.
Ben
7 Nov 08 at 8:47 pm
@Jon, you are right, Mr Obama is the perfect example.
luke
7 Nov 08 at 8:59 pm
I understand the private school thing, in that environment you do feel a pressure to be superior in some way, often resulting in an inferiority complex. I’d never really bought in to the self-help thing but did have a leaning towards Buddhism. But one day I went to the doctor for my insomnia. He said that I was moderately depressed and could offer Prozac but he’d prefer me to read Paul McKenna’s ‘Change Your Life in 7 days’. In the past, I had particularly hated McKenna’s public persona but didn’t want to take chemicals so I parted with the £9.99. The book pretty much covers the subjects you mention and is very good. But it’s difficult for me to keep up any regime for longer than a couple of months. Ben, how long have you consistently managed to think and act positively without succuming to negative feelings? I’ve probably managed a week or two.
Ben
7 Nov 08 at 9:11 pm
@Luke – About once a month I suppose, negative feelings will take years to shake I’m sure. The difference now is that they go much quicker and I know how to get rid of them – a quick burst of Tony Robbins for example! But I spent about 3 years in a job I really didn’t like here, that really made me question my self-worth every day (this was a few years ago, a shitty teaching job) and I know that will never happen again. I like the sound of your doctor by the way.
Stephen
7 Nov 08 at 9:43 pm
I wonder if Robbins recognises that some things if not impossible are highly unlikely. Thousands move to Hollywood every year to follow their dream. 99.9% of them end up parking cars and pumping gas. All of them probably started out highly motivated.
Jon
7 Nov 08 at 10:53 pm
@ Stephen – I think T Robbins’ point is that simply being “highly motivated” to be rich and famous is not enough. Desire for material success is no replacement for striving for personal improvement. Success is not always about being young, rich, beautiful, and famous. Making loads of money might be good, and it might be possible. It might NOT be essential or even desirable. Setting your sights higher might be better. A life well-lived is reward enough.
Maria S.
7 Nov 08 at 11:39 pm
I believe so far only guys have commented on this post.
)
What is up with you? Don’t you have something better to do
I used to listen to tapes like this myself when I was in my early thirties. This was at a time I did not know where I was heading to, what I wanted, what could be out there for me, etc. And they proved to be helpful to get me through that time! I would listen to them again if I thought I needed them.
Now that I am a bit further in life, which means I have a good family, a wonderful job, a great income (I am earning quite a bit more than my husband and it has caused no problems so far), I won’t take the time to listen to these messages.
But I would if somebody brought them to my door for my convenience. There is a real value in them if you are looking for inspiration.
I only listened when I felt lost.
“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”
Mark
8 Nov 08 at 12:15 am
I’m somewhat of a “Personal Development” cynic. These books and programs have their place but do seem to be a bit like a quick fix. While the positive effects are lasting in the subconscious, if that spurs someone to take a few positive steps to overcome self doubt and a few inhibitions to achieve tangible things, then that is a undoubtedly positive thing. Then using those achievements as a basis of some inner self belief.
The problem is the effects are so short lasting I doubt whether they can overcome someone’s basic personality type. A bit like the sort of “hypnosis” that we experience when watching a superhero in a film. We enter that world and suspend reality to enjoy the film, almost feeling like we have those powers ourselves during the film . Or maybe that’s just me being a bit sad!Usually, when the lights come back on, within a few minutes reality descends .
Ben you have every right to feel “damn proud” of Notes In Spanish and your other personal achievements in life. I just don’t feel that a book or audio recording is necessary for you to appreciate this. Maybe when used as a quick boost from time to time they have their uses. “You can do anything” is obviously not true. You only have to look at some of the people out there to realise that isn’t true in many cases! Probably more a case of recognising your personal strengths and being realistic about few personal limitations as well. We can’t do everything that we desire but that’s not to say you can’t achieve a great deal.
I don’t have your perspective on private education being educated in the state system. Interesting to get that angle on things . From my side of the fence it was equally frustrating being in a class of over 30 pupils with low expectations from the teachers. Even if only on the surface, most people that I have met that have been educated privately do tend to, outwardly at least, have a greater self confidence than those educated by the state.
I’m just a few years older than you. I remember at school not being streamed toward O-level maths but towards CSE . I was told that it was “beyond me” by a teacher. Later on in further education thankfully my parents paid for about 8-10 private lessons with a maths tutor, as I was about to fail the first level of an engineering course. This soon got me up to speed! I was told by the tutor that whilst not a natural at maths I was above average ability, and not below it and had been sold short by the system. Confirming this, on the final level of the course I got a top grade which was of an A-level plus standard . Without those extra lessons I could have carried on a lot of that negativity and taken a far worse direction in life.
leftbanker
8 Nov 08 at 1:52 pm
I think the important thing is that we all need to define success in our own manner. A very high priority in my I my life is understanding as much about the world around me as possible. One of my top self-help books is Richard Dawkins’ The Ancestor’s Tale which has given me a pretty thorough view of how we all got here, in evolutionary terms. I rely heavily on the brilliant Canadian economist-political philosopher, John Ralston Saul, to help me see more clearly in the worlds of economics, politics, and popular culture. As far as writing goes, the list is long and distinguished, but lately I am really digging this Antonio Muñoz Molina guy. For comedy, I still laugh my ass off at the first ten minutes of Super Troopers so maybe I’m not getting anywhere in the smarts department.
Tom
8 Nov 08 at 10:35 pm
But banish negative thoughts altogether? Not sure I could subscribe to that: I love the Blues.
Irish eyes
8 Nov 08 at 10:55 pm
Well, Ben, the sceptics certainly didn’t look away, did they?
I’d just like to say thanks, your anecdote about avoiding travel was very timely. It made me realise I’ve been doing something similar and equally against my interests. Now I’ve seen the light, I can do something to change it.
@John Ross, I think I’m beginning to understand why I know so many attractive, intelligent, single women who are finding it hard to meet men. A lot of their potential partners must simply reject themselves on their behalf; a self-limiting belief in action, if ever I saw one!
I’d hope Ben ended up with Marina because of the person he is, not because being out of his own culture gave him the opportunity to pretend to be someone else.
vicente
9 Nov 08 at 1:21 pm
i want to say that all the exceptics that once in life is not bad to read a sefl-help book. People sometimes only need to stimulate himself to do the things that really make him happy.
Some people maybe dont need them. But for many people in this world those books would really be like an explotion in his ass to to the things that make him happy.
ksgrossman
9 Nov 08 at 11:45 pm
I have mixed feelings on the self-improvement books and tapes.
I do believe a “can do” attitude is extremely important, and I have found Tony Robbins and others to be extremely helpful at certain points in my life.
On the other hand, I have to be disciplined and remind myself that I can’t do everything at the same time. There’s simply not enough time in a day, a week, etc. Many times, if I want to chase one dream, then I have to sacrifice somewhere else.
Many years ago, I started down the path towards a dream I thought was obtainable and would be rewarding. I realized, however, that I was sacrificing other things that were equally important that I already had and didn’t want to lose. I saw no other way but to choose between them.
Attitude is critical; Time can also not be denied.
Bill (Legazpi)
10 Nov 08 at 3:11 am
@Ben
I think the “I can do anything” argument would come across more convincingly if you backed it up with some examples (case studies). Unless I’m missing something, all you’ve said so far is that you set yourself some goal(s), which you achieved early, allowing you to pay off a large chunk of your mortgage.
However if, for example, you said you had managed to double the production rate for your podcasts, or tripled your turnover through some well-worked marketing campaign, then I think my ears might prick up more. At the moment it all sounds too evangelical, like a faith healer who manages to convince people that they are cured for a few hours.
I once worked for a guy who also ran his own company and was very positive in an “I can do anything” way. The company was successful in that it made a profit and he paid himself well. However he came across as if he thought he was running Google. I admired him for his attitude, but he seemed slightly detached from reality. I’m not suggesting for a second that this is the case with you, however it is what makes me slightly skeptical in general.
Luciana Sarra
10 Nov 08 at 2:37 pm
Hey Ben! Me alegra mucho saber que te gusta “Awaken the Giant Within.” I try to live by that book. I have read all of Anthony Robbins’s books, and many of his audio programs that are also excellent!
Another great personal development book you might enjoy is “The Psychology of Achievement” by Brian Tracy:
http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Achievement-Develop-Achievers-Mindset/dp/0743526589/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
Give it a try and let me know what you think of this one.
Saludos from Boston!
Ben
10 Nov 08 at 5:18 pm
@Mark: “Ben you have every right to feel “damn proud” of Notes In Spanish and your other personal achievements in life. I just don’t feel that a book or audio recording is necessary for you to appreciate this.” – Actually, it was! For a long time we told people that we were just ‘lucky’, and really did believe that, a common low self esteem position of people that have some kind of success. Now I realise that it has had a lot more to do with hard work and dogged determination than luck, so I know that more of the same will pay off in the future too, that I don’t just have to rely on ‘luck’ (which of course we had a bit of too).
@Irish eyes, no the skeptics did not look away! Surprised by how many there are in fact…
@ ksgrossman – I agree, time cannot be denied. That is also why it is so important to act fast and massively whenever one has the urge, energy and desire to do so.
@Bill – “I think the “I can do anything” argument would come across more convincingly if you backed it up with some examples ” – I am too British to mention figures, but I will say this. From Jan to July our company sales were enough to pay ourselves a low wage, and the rest of the company expenses, leaving perhaps a few hundred euros left over each month.
In August I started applying a lot of the stuff I was learning from these books and courses, and that month our company sales jumped 30%. In September, having set the mortgage goal, we decided to start applying a marketing idea I read about that actually offered astounding value to our customers (we are NOT into ever doing anything that does not provide huge value for our Spanish learners), and we tripled our sales from August, all without increasing our expenses.
Previously I had felt guilty about ‘marketing’, but read somewhere that if all you are doing is putting more of something of great value into the hands of more people that undoubtedly will and want to benefit from it, then clearly there is not need to feel guilty.
Reading that, reading and understanding the value of goals and making some, and reading and applying some marketing, all led to that 3x sales result, and being able to pay off nearly a quarter of our not inconsiderable mortgage. That’s why I preach the benefits of a bit of self development. I certainly don’t think I’m running google though!
@Luciana Sarra – Thanks for the recommendation, I’ve added it to my wish list, which is where I always choose my next books from. I’ve actually heard it recommended in other books I’ve read too, so it’s high on my list.
Jonk
11 Nov 08 at 12:58 am
@ Ben.
¨Previously I had felt guilty about ‘marketing’, but read somewhere that if all you are doing is putting more of something of great value into the hands of more people that undoubedly will and want to benefit from it, then clearly there is not need to feel guilty.¨
I can´t tell you how cool it feels to read someone else say that. I too have had that same feeling of guilt.
Re: the cynics, I have never known quite how to say this but of late I have been thinking that cynicism is just the other side of the coin of stupidity. They´re the middle managers of the world and one of the reasons I don´t want to spend all my life working for corporation. The amount of people who only stretch their brain far enough to say the word ¨no¨ is mind-boggling.
Here you are, working for yourself, in a country and city you love, and making money for sharing that love with other people. You´d think that people would at least give your posts a bit more than a light skim. /Rant.
Not trying to suck up, just trying to bring something different to this discussion.
Jonk
11 Nov 08 at 12:59 am
For ¨a¨ corporation. Dammit I hate putting typos in comments.
bill (Legazpi)
11 Nov 08 at 11:38 am
@Ben
I am now more convinced by your argument. No I wasn’t expecting you to provide exact figures, just saying that your sales have tripled within a few months of applying what you have been learning is sufficient.
I think the problem with just saying things like “it has made a great difference” is that it is an entirely subjective comment – I’ve met people who say “business is going really well”, even when they are losing money. I think that making a point of quantifying how things have improved draws peole’s attention.
I don’t see anything to feel guilty about, especially when it comes to marketing. You are providing a service, and the more potential customers who are aware of the service the better. It is entirely up to them as to whether they part with their money. Furthermore, since I imagine your business plan is based on encouraging people to keep coming back to buy more podcasts, I expect it is not really in your interest to rip them off.
Mark
13 Nov 08 at 8:23 pm
@Ben: “Actually, it was! For a long time we told people that we were just ‘lucky’”
I understand what you are saying . I think it was film producer Samuel Goldwyn who said “The harder I work the luckier I get”. Certainly “luck” is a factor in all our lives but it requires certain qualities to spot a gap in the market and fill that gap with a good product or service.
It’s just that after listening to your podcasts etc. that you come across as self-confident in an approachable kind of way. Not as someone that needs that much motivating! I guess we all need motivating to some degree . For sure I have my own set of issues. Certainly I get a lift out of reading an inspirational article about something or watching good documentary on TV. Anything I feel is “preaching”, or with a style that I can’t relate to, tends to bring out the cynic in me!
ValenciaSon
15 Nov 08 at 6:38 pm
I wonder what percentage of the skeptics are skeptical for fear that these technique won’t work only on them, out of fear of inadequacy.
Maria S.
16 Nov 08 at 12:32 am
Interesting point from Valencia Son.
Yes, it could also be a point of denial “Hey, I don’t need any help/input.” Usually women are more likely to look for help than men. Correct me if I am generalizing. (I Know you would anyway…)
I still have all my books from Dr. Vincent Peale, who wrote the bestseller “The Power of Positive Thinking” and many others.
He also wrote some interesting chapters on how to keep enthusiasm going. It does tend to leave after a while.
Next weekend I will be in New York City and if I happen to stroll by Dr. Peale’s church
http://www.marblechurch.org/
I will step in to take a look.
Having success is a matter of attitude, not only facts. Keeping a good attitude produces amazing results at times.
Being cynical/sKeptical seems to be more of a male trade anyway. Did I just open up another can of worms?
ValenciaSon
16 Nov 08 at 1:20 am
It has been my experience that males are more reluctant to seek help and that has been published. Skepticism being a male-dominated trait, I’m a little skeptical on that one.
Anwar
16 Nov 08 at 3:06 am
@John Ross:
It seems like you’re the one being too sensitive. As far as I can tell, Ben didn’t ask you to stop posting comments. If you can express your opinion about his post, why would you have a problem with him expressing his opinion on your comment? Also, if you feel free to say that you haven’t read all of his post, why would you have a problem with him saying that he hasn’t read all of your comment?
Unless of course, I’m being overly sensitive, and you meant everything as a joke.
Anwar
16 Nov 08 at 3:29 am
A note to all of the “self help skeptics”: Books, just like podcasts, blogs, forums, tapes, CDs, conversations, etc. are various ways of sharing knowledge and learning. If you’re disdainful of “self-help books”, I’m curious as to why you’re listening to Notes In Spanish and Notes from Spain podcasts, reading the corresponding blogs, and participating in the forums. At the risk of stating the obvious, these are all self-help podcasts, blogs, and forums.
Again, at the risk of stating the obvious, every book you’ve ever read to learn something, every class you’ve ever taken, every time you’ve asked someone for directions, every time you’ve read the instructions on some piece of equipment or gadget to learn how to use it, every time you’ve asked someone about great places to visit in Spain, or where you can find a good tapas bar, or how to find a job in Spain, every time you tried to get a better job, lose weight, learn a new skill, improve an existing skill, or learn anything, etc., etc. etc., you’ve been engaged in a “self-help” activity or utilized a “self-help” medium of one sort or another.
I’ve never read any of Mr. Robins’ books or any of the other authors that Ben has mentioned, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I would never dismiss them out of hand because they’re labeled as “self-help”. Anyone else, who chooses to, is of course free to do so. But reflecting a little on the examples I’ve cited above, what would happen if the “self-help book skeptics” consistently and thoroughly applied their line of reasoning to all forms of “self-help”?
raytibbitts
16 Nov 08 at 9:45 am
The most influential teacher I’ve ever had, in High School, once said – “Always skeptical, never cynical.”
It has stuck with me (although its disuse has been my due to my own inadequacy, not any lacking on his part to instill the wisdom.
He was the most energetic, funny, positive, successful, unbiased, and even-handed educator I’ve ever met. Anywhere.
He was also, justifiably, an ego-maniac.
Here’s a website his alumni have dedicated to him:
http://www.kingherold.com/story.html
@ValenciaSon: In my case, you’re on to something.
Katelyn
17 Nov 08 at 1:14 am
Awww thanks for the words of motivation, and congrats on your new baby
buy legal weed
29 Jun 09 at 2:49 pm
You only have the impression that you can do anything. Only God can do so, not a human being. Well if you smoke some crap though you might really think you can do anything and that`s what counts after all right?