In a survey I recently took about being an expat in Spain, I was asked whether I had every ‘put my foot in it’ culturally or linguisticly since arriving 11 years ago… and one experience came straight to mind.
A few years ago Marina and her sister were swimming in their parents’ pool up in the sierra beyond Madrid. As I sat on the edge lazing around, Marina’s sister swam up behind Marina and, as one does in swimming pools, playfully ducked Marina’s head under water.
Marina emerged seconds later with a wild exclamation of: “ZORRA!”
Zorra (noun) = female fox, or (slang) whore
“Zorra Tu“, shouted Marina in return, and they both splashed about laughing.
Now there’s an inventive use of the language I thought, one for the databanks, can’t wait for an opportunity to try it out myself!
The next day, back at the poolside, two of Marina’s oldest friends, a married couple, came round for tea. Pool antics ensued, and when Marina pushed me from the side into the water, I seized my chance to try out my favourite new word:
“Zorrrrrrrrrraaaaa!” I cried in delight, when I resurfaced….
” – - – “, replied Marina, a mute expression of total disgusted horror on her face.
Later, long after they had left, and Marina still hadn’t spoken to me for about 5 hours, in desperation I managed to corner her in the kitchen for the following enlightening conversation:
Ben: “What the hell is wrong?”
Marina: “Are you stupid or what?”
Ben: “Clearly, because I haven’t got a bloody clue what’s wrong with you!”
Marina: “Don’t be so ridiculous, I can’t believe you don’t know why I’m so pissed off…”
Ben (pausing for divine inspiration): “Ummmmmm… Nope.”
Marina: “YOU CALLED ME A WHORE IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS, IDIOT.”
Ben (wracking brains for proof this might be true): “Um, are you sure?”
Marina: “You called me a Zorra when I pushed you in the pool!”
Ben: “Oh yes that, ha ha, I’d been waiting to use that for ages!”
Marina: “…eres un gilipollas, vamos…” (=You stupid d*ickhead)
Ben: “But… but you and your sister said the same thing to each other in the pool just the day before!”
Marina: “THAT’S DIFFERENT!”
Ben: “???”
And so another part of my Spanish education was complete. Your wife may call her sister a whore in front of you, and her sister may equally be-whore her in return, and it’s all good fun!
But woe betide you if you dare to presume to learn by mimicry. What works for one person in situation A, is by no means available to you in the similar, but almost-inappreciably-different, situation B.
I tried to explain this to Marina of course, that I was just a victim of the ‘witness, commit to memory, try it out soon’ school of language learning, but sadly she was still slow to forgive. Took about four years if I remember correctly before the whole event was truly forgiven (but not forgotten).
So be warned! A Spanish woman may be a zorra in front of her sister, but never in front of her friends.
mcark
26 Aug 09 at 8:52 pm
best blog ever! That got my attention on twitter
Parubin
26 Aug 09 at 9:13 pm
Jajaja!!! I’m still laughing myself to death five minutes after reading this post. I picture the scene, it it just plain hilarious.
I suppose the translation of ‘zorra’ is not really ‘whore’ but more a light word such as ‘bitch’. And yes women in Spain call themselves ‘zorras’ to each other in an amicable manner but still it is not advisable attempting to reproduce the name if you are male.
Really hilarious, thanks for sharing the anecdote.
Tanya MacIntyre
26 Aug 09 at 10:51 pm
Excellent, Ben! I’m a Canadian living in Mallorca, and I had a horrible scenario when I said in a crowded bar, “yo soy caliente” (wanting to express that I was hot after dancing). We anglos soon learn that English meanings are not directly translated!
Graham
27 Aug 09 at 12:16 am
Great blog Ben. Stunning example!!!
Jesús
27 Aug 09 at 12:27 am
Hi Ben, I sometimes read your posts, and this remind me an event with my mother many years ago.
Me and my mother were in the kitchen. I was doing something (I don’t remember what) when I tripped over her. So, I told her “sorry”. But my mother doesn’t speak English, so she actually didn’t hear “sorry” but “zorri” that is something like a loving diminutive for “zorra”. We live in Seville, so the pronunciation of both words are exactly the same.
When my mother heard that, she looked into my eyes and told me “What did you call me?!” with a shocked expression on her face.
Fortunately, she understood it was an English word that means “perdón”. But the fact was I felt very bad for a while.
Jesús
27 Aug 09 at 12:39 am
By the way, zorri… ehhmm, sorry for my English. I know I’ve made some mistakes. I speak Cervantes’ language much better than Shakespeare’s one.
RayT
27 Aug 09 at 12:45 am
When my wife was still trying to learn English, back when we still lived in the U.S., she would often try on outfits, as she still does, and ask me, “How do I look?”
One time, I told her, “Like a stone cold fox.” hoping that it would give us something interesting to talk about.
I ended up having to play Jimi Hendrix’ “Foxy Lady” to prove that the word was a compliment, but she still doubted whether it didn’t have something to do with bitches or prostitutes.
She reciprocated, with a great sense of humor, though.
When I was getting dressed, I asked her, “¿Cómo me queda?”
To which she answered, “De putamadre,” but with a deadpan, almost sarcastic tone, which I wasn’t sure was supposed to be funny at first.
acosta
27 Aug 09 at 3:32 am
Perhaps similar when some spanish speakers get confused with the usage of coño and its English equivalent, enough said.
Hides under my desk….
ValenciaSon
27 Aug 09 at 4:24 am
If you are in the dog house, it doesn’t matter why, just find a way out.
mcark
27 Aug 09 at 5:09 am
Just thinking that sometimes I make silly comments to my wife and she makes similar ones to me. If I walk in on her getting dressed, I’ll say “get some clothes on hooker” and she laughs. If I said that in public, I think I’d be on the streets. I’m still laughing at this blog.
xoanwahn
27 Aug 09 at 11:39 am
That’s not all that different from the word bitch. Girlfriends often call each other bitches with the most adorable smiles on their faces and they tend to just laugh it off without a thought. You as her partner, however, should not call your wife a bitch…especially not in front of other people. It just has a different connotation! No one will just assume that you’re joking around.
Aledys Ver
27 Aug 09 at 1:35 pm
Great anecdote! I’m still cracking my sides with laughter imagining the situation. It reminds me of similar situations involving my husband (Dutch) speaking Spanish back home (Argentina) and me (Argentinian) trying to speak Dutch.
Very funny!!
John Crisp
27 Aug 09 at 2:31 pm
I remember the laughter when my wife tried to explain to our neighbours in her then basic Spanish that our dogs had torn up some cushions & spread them all over the garden.
If I remember rightly, Cojines are cushions. Cojones are testicles……
And I agree with acosta – ROFL !
asturiasjohn
27 Aug 09 at 2:42 pm
@John Crisp
This is a favourite error I make!
Once in IKEA I said to the assistant;
“Quiero comprar una mesita con 3 cojones”. (I meant cajones = drawers)
The people in the queue enjoyed the mistake.
Daisy
27 Aug 09 at 4:02 pm
A friend of mine managed to ask for a ‘polla caliente’ at Mercadona – she just didn’t want to cook dinner and saw they had some ready cooked meats hanging up. It’s funny that the m/f rudeness is the other way round with regards to poultry, the word ‘chicken’ could not be rude in English – I am sure it has lead to misunderstandings the other way around too!
Paul
27 Aug 09 at 6:40 pm
jejeje, I can imagine the situation
Guess what? You can imagine the snickers from our Spanish friends when we tell them that our female cat [who has a black face mask like the folk hero Zorro ] is named “Zorra”
Billy T.
27 Aug 09 at 8:30 pm
I made this mistake in Asturias…while at a swimming pool in San Esteban de Pravia this past summer they require you to wear a swim cap. Which is odd in itself. In Spanish the swim cap is called a “gorra.” My confused Spanish had me asking the guys at the pool where I could find a “zorra” which has obviously has a completely different meaning.
luke
29 Aug 09 at 12:12 am
Great story, sorry that you had to put up with such harsh justice though!
Jose Patino
29 Aug 09 at 10:21 am
Very funny Ben, I get the equivalent when I speak Spain spanish to Mexicans when I say “vas a cojer el autobus” they think it means the same as have sex with the bus… a polyglot’s curse I guess. I miss your podcasts man! I miss Spain and the way you present it. Thanks for the post. All the best to Leo and Marina!
Marie-Claude
29 Aug 09 at 1:28 pm
I agree with Jose Patino, I miss your podcasts so much, they were spontaneous and a breath of fresh air
Anwar
29 Aug 09 at 10:03 pm
@acosta:????
Anwar
29 Aug 09 at 10:11 pm
@luke. Ben really got off kind of light. Recently here in the U.S. in the State of Virginia one pissed off woman made her husband stand at a major intersection with a giant handwritten sign announcing the offense he committed against her. Granted, he’d actually cheated on her.
RayT
31 Aug 09 at 2:54 am
gotta be careful with “vixen” as well.
Ben
31 Aug 09 at 10:20 am
@JP and MC, I miss the podcasts too! The trouble is that we just don’t have time now we have a baby… we’ll try and do one soon though, but can’t promise anything!
Pepino
31 Aug 09 at 10:25 am
jeje, fab story!
I haven’t had a “zorra” moment thankfully, but I do get thoroughly pee’d off when I get reprimanded for saying “Hostia puta” by some of the most prolific Hostia-puta-saying Spaniards around. They say it makes me seem “subnormal”, so why doesn’t it to them? 
)
I still say it, by the way. Quite a lot!
Kralizec
31 Aug 09 at 12:47 pm
I remember something I heard while I was working (as a tobacconist) during last year’s carnivals…
A customer (a man in his late 30s) comes in with his son and daughter – the boy’s wearing a Zorro costume and the girl is normally dressed. Original conversation in Spanish:
Boy: “Soy el Zorro!”
Girl: (grabs Zorro’s hat and puts it on her head) “Y yo soy la Zorra!”
Father: “Sí, hija, sí, como tu madre…”
jclinton
31 Aug 09 at 6:42 pm
I had a similar language mishap with the 80-year-old abuela of the host family my friend and I were staying with. She questioned why we hadn’t eaten any chicken, don’t we like chicken?
To which I replied, “Sí Abuela! A mí me gusta la polla!”
She still laughs about it.
Maria S.
1 Sep 09 at 4:09 pm
Good post. I enjoy reading about the ups and downs of any language learning.
Ben, Feliz cumpleaños!
espanglish
25 Oct 09 at 5:46 pm
While studying in Spain, a fellow student committed a real zinger. She was boarding with a family and they served chicken for dinner. She said
En los Estados Unidos, comemos mucha polla—polla frita, polla asada con un puree de papas, sopa de polla, bocadillos de polla…”
She had no idea why her host family was falling off their chairs from laughter. A word to the wise, don’t ever get the gender of chicken wrong.
el Micky
27 Oct 09 at 6:25 pm
Great Blog. What a good idea! I am not yet married (just about!)to an Argentine. The Latina’s certainly give you plenty of content for a Blog.
@Tanya: The same thing happened to me on my first meeting with my suegra (mother-in-law). I asked her if she was “hot”! I wondered why she only said: “Un pocito” with a sheepish grin on her face when it was over 40 degrees in the shade. I had nooooo idea.
Thank goodness my finace wasn’t in the room! Although her mom obviously said something because she came to me laughing explaining the difference between CALOR and CALIENTE! I will never make that mistake again!