wedding/engagement rings

[Kate B]

Maybe somebody can help us out....

I'm studying in Segovia for the semester and the other students and I have a question about wedding/engagement rings and their placement. Sounds kinda silly, but we really need to know.

We asked our 4 professors and half said one thing, and the other half said another. On what finger is customary (for both men and women) to wear their wedding/engagement ring?

Thanks :)

[richardksa]

Third finger, left hand. 'Tis why it is called the ring finger.

[acmench]

My understanding is that in Spain the custom is to wear it on the third ringer, right hand.

[Ben]

Yes, third finger, right hand is the norm, though occasionally you may see a wedding ring on the other hand.

[Marina]

It is not that strange that different teachers gave you different answers, as depending on the region the setting is different. For example:
The wedding ring in Cataluña is usually placed in the 2nd finger of the left hand while in other Spanish regions is placed in the same finger of the right hand. But this is not close rule. I'm from Madrid and I place my wedding ring in the left hand (I'm sorry but I hate to be told what I have to do:D:D:D).

Regarding the engagement ring I know it is placed in the third finger but I don't even know in which hand. Sorry.

[Kate B]

gracias!

[Jon Hundt]

after 23 years of blissful marriage she's still waiting for that ring !! but apparently here in Holland the wedding ring is worn on the ring (3rd) finger of the left hand IF you are Catholic, and on the ring finger of the right hand if you are NOT Catholic.

I know you were interested in the Spanish custom, but the question was interesting so I thought I'd chime in from the frozen north.

[Edith]

but apparently here in Holland the wedding ring is worn on the ring (3rd) finger of the left hand IF you are Catholic, and on the ring finger of the right hand if you are NOT Catholic.


True, although I know many married people who no longer wear a ring. And these days, there are many mixed Catholic-Protestant couples anyway, so I don't know how they solve this problem. Those who do noy belong to any Christian denomination - about 50% of the population - tend to follow the Protestant tradition (that's what my parents did). The couples which are not married - and there are many of them in Holland - follow their own rules and may choose to wear a ring or not.

[Cynthia]

I had no idea there was so much variation in this custom!! In the US, the wedding ring always worn on the third finger of the left hand, along with the engagement ring, if you have one--with the wedding band toward the hand and the engagement ring towards the fingertip. There are some couples who don't wear them, but I have never seen anyone wear the rings on different fingers! Wow! Sounds silly, I know, but I really have never seen that before! Of course, there are many, many people here from all different cultures, so I'm sure that not EVERYONE here does that, but all of my married friends--even those from different places around the world who live here now--put the ring on the third finger of the left hand. I feel like such a culturally sheltered American! I need to get out more!

...I'm from Madrid and I place my wedding ring in the left hand (I'm sorry but I hate to be told what I have to do:D:D:D).

About a year ago there was an ad campaign for diamond rings marketed toward single women, telling them to buy diamonds for themselves. The slogan for it went something like "he can have the left hand, but the right one is mine" or something like that. Now that I think of it, that's pretty offensive--they're both mine, aren't they?!

I'm going to start thinking of where I want to put my ring...when I get one... :D

[richardksa]

It gets worse. It seems in some cultures the finger alters depending on the status of the relationship!! I Just typed "ring fingers" into Google. The first entry was good old Wikipedia, but there are others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger

[Kate B]

This is quite complicated for something so simple as a ring!

[cubix]

Do Spanish people sometimes not wear rings? In the U.S. it is hardley ever seen, but some of my professors didn't know wear them, yet I knew they were married

[Marina]

You are right, some people in Spain don't wear their wedding rings. Some men even refuse to keep it for a day or two after they marry, they say they are not used to wear rings and that it is uncomfortable.

I think the whole ring thing is much more relaxed and flexible in Spain than it is in the States.

[Brian]

You are right, some people in Spain don't wear their wedding rings. Some men even refuse to keep it for a day or two after they marry, they say they are not used to wear rings and that it is uncomfortable.

How does this make Spanish brides feel? Maybe I'm being a bit skeptical and old-fashioned, but it sounds like anybody who won't wear a wedding ring is looking to appear single.

My wedding band has been off my finger perhaps 5 times in my married life (15 years), mostly due to cleaning, but I've never felt it to be uncomfortable.

Definitely, in the States, it's a more rigid custom.

[Diana]

Back in the olden days (38 years ago), when I got married, in Germany you wore your "wedding" ring first as an engagement ring on the third finger left hand (ring finger) and when you got married you switched it to your right hand.

I think things have changed since then. Wedding rings are worn (if at all) still quite often on the right hand but engagement rings seem to be rarer these days and, if at all, are normally not the same ring (That is, among the young folk I know - but then again, I do not know that many. Could be different in different areas also.)

[Edith]

In Holland, many people are living together without being married, and marriage is certainly not as important in the US. As a matter of fact, less and less people are getting married these days, and from a legal point of view it's almost the same. The divorce rate between married and unmarried couples is about the same. People who wear rings just wear one ring, not an engagement ring and a marriage ring. I do not pay a great deal of attention to the fact whether people are wearing a ring or not, anyway. I couldn't tell you whether my boss or my next-door neighbor are wearing one, for instance.

[Marina]

How does this make Spanish brides feel? Maybe I'm being a bit skeptical and old-fashioned, but it sounds like anybody who won't wear a wedding ring is looking to appear single.

That is what Ben told me :D:D:D but I told him that if he took his off I would take mine off as well, and in the end we both have worn it for more than 4 years now:D. Time flys!!!

Appart from that fact, I don't pay much attention to rings and as Edith I don't have a clue if my mates or bosses wear one.

[Señora]

In the UK, the engagement ring is always worn on the third finger of the left hand, and after marriage, it changes positions with the wedding band that is slipped onto the same finger and the engagement ring sits next to it (nearest the finger tip)
After one year of marriage or the birth of the first child, an addition ring called an "eternity" ring can also be added....the eternity ring is situated between the wedding band and the engagement ring.
This procedure is called stacking.

The reason why we chose the left hand is because apparently there is a blood vessel that runs from the left hand finger directly to the heart.

[richardksa]

I wore my wedding ring for the 28 1/2 years that I was married. Sadly we were divorced at the beginning of this year and in January I removed it. Now it is October and the mark of the ring still shows on my finger and shows no sign of fading.

[Brian]

In Holland, many people are living together without being married, and marriage is certainly not as important in the US. As a matter of fact, less and less people are getting married these days, and from a legal point of view it's almost the same. The divorce rate between married and unmarried couples is about the same. People who wear rings just wear one ring, not an engagement ring and a marriage ring. I do not pay a great deal of attention to the fact whether people are wearing a ring or not, anyway. I couldn't tell you whether my boss or my next-door neighbor are wearing one, for instance.

Call me old-fashioned. :)

I wore my wedding ring for the 28 1/2 years that I was married. Sadly we were divorced at the beginning of this year and in January I removed it. Now it is October and the mark of the ring still shows on my finger and shows no sign of fading.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been, Richard, especially after all that time. My parents split up after 29 years, so I can empathize somewhat.

[Edith]

Call me old-fashioned. :).

Ah, now I can see it's a smilie and not a sad face! My reading glasses are broke and now I'm struggling to read what's on the screen with my other pair of glasses resting on the tip of my nose. :D

I think it's also a cultural difference. Among some ethnic groups in Holland, for instance, marriage is still very important.

[richardksa]

I can't imagine how hard it must have been, Richard, especially after all that time. My parents split up after 29 years, so I can empathize somewhat.

Thanks, but I wasn't actually looking for sympathy, (water under the bridge!) although it did hit me for six for a while. (English cricket analogy). I was just a) pointing out that at least in the UK men do wear a ring (unless health as safety at work forbid it!) and b) demonstrating how it has worn itself into my skin. I have tried creams and stuff, but the mark persists. (Any advice ladies??)
It annoys me as I have worked with men who have deliberately removed their wedding rings to enable them to play away from home and I have never been one of them, but the mark makes it look as if I am. In my visits to Spain I meet many ladies and do not wish to be regarded as an aging Lothario!!!!!;)