Use of the terms Tio or Tia

[ValenciaSon]

How should one take it when a complete stranger in Spain refers to you as Tio or Tia?

[Alan]

Strangers call you Aunt or Uncle?

[Marbella]

I think it´s a bit disrespectful and overfamiliar unless you know the person well (especially if they call you tia and you are male!).

It´s a bit like being called "mate" or "man".

[Ben]

Marina will call her friends and her sister, and even her mother, tia, (and her aunts of course!), but I don't think it would be used usually between people that did not know each other at all. As Marbella says, it would be disrespectful, or just plain odd!

[Marbella]

Mrs. Marbella, sisters and friends affectionately call each other "bicho" (insect) or "rata" (rat).

As this has been going on since childhood we can't decide if this is just some strange patter they have got used to or it is common amongst Spanish girls/women.

Has anyone with Spanish connections heard of this before?

[ValenciaSon]

OK, so the next time an unfamiliar refers to me as "Tio", what is an appropriate response?

[Pepino]

I was TIO'd for the first time just the other day (honestly, you turn your back for a second... ;) ) by a guy who works in the Spanish office of my employer. He's someone I know fairly well and we've always got along together, so I just equated it to me calling him "mate", but it did feel a bit strange at first.

[deecree]

If it's becoming more common, perhaps its a South American influence?

[gary]

In Almería 20 years ago my wife and I were stranded with 200 or so other tourists in Garrucha. We had taken a bus tour to see the local market and there had been a torrential downpour which had washd a bridge out.

The bus drivers persuaded a local bar keeper to open and serve refreshments. The service was very slow as no one in the bar spoke any English.

After half an hour I ventured to the fornt of the queue and offered to translate as best I could. The harrassed barman was grateful and when the queue had subsided told me thet he would treat myself and my wife to a drink for our trouble. He had to leave and set his wife on serving us, I had a beer and Gill fancied a Tia Maria

- ¿Hay una Tia Maria?
- ¿Que?
- ¿Tienes aquí una Tia Maria?
- Momento

She disappeared into the back and reappeared with a very confused little old lady, dressed all in black.

At this point the bar tender reappeared and, after a brief explanation we both dissolved into fits of laughter and then enjoyed several drinks....

[Jimmy]

Great story!! - similar occurred to a friend of mine that visited Chile and asked for a Pisco Sour (national drink of Chile and Peru). However, he did it with the Chileno accent (which is notorious for dropping the 'S's from words) and asked for a Pico Sour. Not so amusing to most people - but those familiar with chilean modismos will know that Pico = Pene. :eek: :blush:

http://www.mainframe.cl/diccionario/diccionario.php?letra=p

[Marina]

Great story :):):) you really made laugh!!!

Ben has explained the use very well, I would only use it with someone that I'm very close and probably never in the office.

[Rabbitoh]

From a fun angle...

The word "tio" is used *a lot* in Spain's gay community. Believe me. It's akin to "papi" as a term of affection or endearment. "Tio" is, like others noted, more often applied to people older than the speaker. I'm 27 and am often called "tio" by guys younger than me though a few notable exceptions have occurred.

When first socialising with Spanish gay folks, "tio" really threw me. But it's so common that my brain associates it with "bloke" or "mate".

-R

[dave]

Mrs. Marbella, sisters and friends affectionately call each other "bicho" (insect) or "rata" (rat).

Just a quick comment on "bicho".....in Puerto Rico, this word is slang for penis! :o

My spanish isn't good enough to remember what a puerto rican would use to refer to an insect (I don't think it's 'insecto').....but I can tell you that if I ever used "bicho" as a child, it would only have earned me a smack across the mouth!

[Polly]

SNORT! That's very funny, Dave. There are quite a few words that don't translate well from one L/A culture to another....someday remind me to tell you the story of how I - quite unintentionally - came to refer to myself as a 'whore' while in the Dominican Republic a few years back. Suffice it to say, I was using a Mexican idiom which meant something entirely different in that part of the World!

As for Tia/Tio. My brothers' -in-law ALWAYS referred to me as "Tia" (still do, actually) and I them, as "Tio". Lovely term of endearment. If a stranger were to refer to me that way though...I would think it very rude.

My ex used to call me "Mommi" ...which was frankly - kind of creepy - at first, until I realized where it was coming from. He also had a habit of calling small children and babies "Little Mommi" or "Little Papi" when addressing them, and I eventually picked up the habit myself. Of course, coming from HIM, it was charming, but coming from ME, people just think it's weird. :blush:


Edited to ad: I almost forgot! I became a Tia (again) just yesterday morning! Baby boy born to my baby brother & sister in law! (c:

[Marina]

Lots of babies coming into the Notesfromspain members' families. Enhorabueana a tia Polly

[Polly]

Gracias!

[dave]

SNORT! That's very funny, Dave. There are quite a few words that don't translate well from one L/A culture to another....someday remind me to tell you the story of how I - quite unintentionally - came to refer to myself as a 'whore' while in the Dominican Republic a few years back. Suffice it to say, I was using a Mexican idiom which meant something entirely different in that part of the World!
I'd like to hear this story! :) I was in the Dominican Republic myself a few years ago, so I'd like to know if I myself flirted with disaster, hehe (although doubtful).



As for Tia/Tio. My brothers' -in-law ALWAYS referred to me as "Tia" (still do, actually) and I them, as "Tio". Lovely term of endearment. If a stranger were to refer to me that way though...I would think it very rude.

My ex used to call me "Mommi" ...which was frankly - kind of creepy - at first, until I realized where it was coming from. He also had a habit of calling small children and babies "Little Mommi" or "Little Papi" when addressing them, and I eventually picked up the habit myself. Of course, coming from HIM, it was charming, but coming from ME, people just think it's weird. :blush:


Puerto Ricans use "mami" and "papi" as terms of endearment when speaking to very young children. It creeps my wife out, too....I think because it's also used as a catcall of sorts by men who call out to woman on the street. It's definitely a cultural thing, since I grew up with it it isn't a big deal for me, but I can definitely see my wife's point of view.


Edited to ad: I almost forgot! I became a Tia (again) just yesterday morning! Baby boy born to my baby brother & sister in law!
Congrats!

[Polly]

Yeah... it is a Puerto Rican thing... but since "R" is Mexican and not 'Rican, it was kind of strange. Still, he liked it, so he used it.

Ok my "accidental whore" story:

I was in Punta Cana (The resort area on the eastern most coast of Hispanola - very near Higuey) with my then-boyfriend, about 3 years ago. He is African American, I am Caucasian. While it isn't all that unusual to see mixed race Dominican couples, apparently mixed race American couples are still unusual enough there to warrant comment - and sometimes, this can also lead to mistaken identity.

So - there were actually two occasions - the first, where I accidentally called myself a whore, and the second time, when my bf was taken for a Domincan gigolo...

I was conversing in (passable) Spanish with our tour guide (during a day-trip into the island interior) and we were talking about the interracial thing - I referred to "B" as a prieto (dark man), which is a perfectly acceptable term there, as it is in Mexico. Then I referred to myself as a guerda - which is Mexican slang for "white girl" but is apparently either interchangeable with or just very similar to cuero a Dominican term for whore or slut. So instead of saying: "I am a white-girl and my boyfriend is black" .... I ended up saying: "I am this dark man's whore" :blush: Embarrasing at the time, yes -- but a great story, no? Once we got it all straigtened out, we had a very good laugh (at my expense, of course).

(My sister has a great story where she unintentionally told a French woman to "piss on a table", when she was actually trying to buy a piece of fish!)

Anyway -- the gigilo thing is not so amusing. Despite a surface acceptance of mixed-race couples, there is still quite a lot of subtle intra-cultural racism that occurs in the Dominican Republic - and elsewhere in Latin America. A black man travelling with a white woman is very likely to be categorized as a gigilo, just on appearances, alone. Unless someone hears him speak, and realizes he is an American, he's going to be tagged as a local who's taking advantage of, or perhaps even conning the white tourist. The woman he's travelling with, of course is his "chula" or sugar-momma.
As such, the man will be treated very poorly by other Dominicans.

We found out the hard way that (off the resort), this is what many of the local people thought of us: "B" had a difficult time cashing travelers' checks and using his credit cards while we were in the Dominican, even with all the proper documentation. I, on the other hand had no problems what so ever. More often than not, I was presented the bill when we went into the stores, and of course was given preferential treatment over him. He had to endure either being ignored altogether, looked at in a strange way, or given the old 'wink wink, nudge-nudge' treatment - all by people who looked just like him!

Once, I was even approached by another man who told me he could 'take care of my needs' better than the guy I was with - so why not hire him "instead"? Quite an eyeopener, to say the least.


I also found out something very interesting about race perception in Latin America, while I was in the DR - and this was recently reinforced in the Latin American studdies course I took last semester:

Even though the Dominican Republic is well over 70% mixed race of at least partial African decent, very few Dominican's consider themselves to be black. Even the darkest skinned Dominican's will say they are brown, but not black.
It's a result of "social whitening" or bleaching.


You find the same thing happens all across Latin America -- whether in the Caribbean, or on the continent. Whether someone is full blooded Indian, or Mestizo, Creole, or of African decent - it is quite possible to change your race through the process of social whitening. This is determined by how you dress, where you live, what you do for a living, who you marry - even by what you eat.

Because it isn't historically as clear-cut in Latin America as it has been in Europe and North America "race" is considered to be more of a fluid part of the social spectrum in L/A and not strictly an issue of skin-color or heredity.

The "whiter" you are percieved to be, the more advantages you have and opportunities you are given.

[ValenciaSon]

"I became a Tia (again) just yesterday morning! Baby boy born to my baby brother & sister in law!"

Felicidades Tia Polly!

[Brian]

Congrats, Polly!

In my family, it's very common for my wife to utter "¡Jovar, Tío!" in my general direction when I've done something annoying.

My sister-in-law is also quite fond of interjecting "¡Que Tio!" when my 5-year-old son does something rather cheeky.

[Polly]

¡Gracias, cada uno!
¡Bebé tiene sano y hambre! Mamá y papá son cansados pero orgullosos.;D

[Ben]

¡Gracias, cada uno!
¡Bebé tiene sano y hambre! Mamá y papá son cansados pero orgullosos.;D

Enhora buena Polly!!!

[richardksa]

This should probably be in the learning the language section, but just what is the difference between "Enhorebuena" and "Felicidades"? Whatever, congats to all the new and expectant parents in the forum.