Top Five Things a Spaniard would never say

[Marbella]

:p Tongue firmly in cheek, light the blue touch paper and stand well back...

1. I need to be there by 5 but there is no way I'm going to break the speed limit.

2. I'm going to France on holiday this year.

3. No steak for me thanks, I'm a vegetarian now.

4. Isn't it noisy here!

5. Property prices can go down as well as up.

[Brian]

:p Tongue firmly in cheek, light the blue touch paper and stand well back...

1. I need to be there by 5 but there is no way I'm going to break the speed limit.

2. I'm going to France on holiday this year.

3. No steak for me thanks, I'm a vegetarian now.

4. Isn't it noisy here!

5. Property prices can go down as well as up.

Well done! :D

I've never understood the deep-seated aversion to the French that some Spaniards carry.

[Marina]

There might be some historical ones, but I know one that is particulary well sticked in Spaniards minds:

About 10 years ago some french used to turn Spanish lorries of fruit upside down or at least stop them and download the content because they could not compete with the Spanish fruit and vedge prices. On the other hand France was the only way for Spanish lorries to get to Europe so the situation was tricky. Fortunately that hasn't happend for a very long time.

[ValenciaSon]

Lorries are trucks, right?

[Jimmy]

Lorries are trucks, right?

Yep - that's the english coming out in Marina's english.....

Truck = Lorry
Freeway = Motorway
Sidewalk = Footpath, or pathway
Elevator = Lift

Who says there's that much difference in English ????

However, I was surprised to find out that the word "Fortnight" is not commonly known in the U.S., let alone used.

In spanish too I've come across heaps of different usage...

Coche = auto = carro - I found the differences in Spain - Chile - Peru

Even Chile and Peru used different words for wheels and tyres (tires for US).

Peru - llanta = just the rubber bit
Chile - neumatico = just the rubber bit, whereas llanta is the whole wheel

Anyway, there was heaps more........... :p

[Ben]

6. Spanish Cuisine isn't what it used to be.

(A variation on no.3 above)

[Marbella]

6. Spanish Cuisine isn't what it used to be.

(A variation on no.3 above)

Reminds me that after visiting my mother-in-law half a dozen times a year for 17 years now, every mealtime we still have to praise the chorizo, lechuga, pimientos etc. She has only visited us once, when we lived in Brighton - San Sebastian it is not but it has its good points. Despite our best efforts, so traumatized was she by the experience of being outside her 'world' that she never returned. That was in 1991. :)

[Brian]

we still have to praise the chorizo, lechuga, pimientos etc.

We praise thee, chorizo, fruit of the pork,
We laud thy sweet savour, sitting on my fork,
Oh heav'nly paprika, spicing throughout,
'tis Paradise, so juicy, within and without.

;D

Sorry, it just struck me as funny.

[Marbella]

We praise thee, chorizo, fruit of the pork,
We laud thy sweet savour, sitting on my fork,
Oh heav'nly paprika, spicing throughout,
'tis Paradise, so juicy, within and without.

;D

Sorry, it just struck me as funny.

Good one Brian! :D

[ValenciaSon]

We praise thee, chorizo, fruit of the pork,
We laud thy sweet savour, sitting on my fork,
Oh heav'nly paprika, spicing throughout,
'tis Paradise, so juicy, within and without.

;D

Sorry, it just struck me as funny.


Who knew you were an Iberian Hip-Hop artist?;)

[ValenciaSon]

:p Tongue firmly in cheek, light the blue touch paper and stand well back...

1. I need to be there by 5 but there is no way I'm going to break the speed limit.

2. I'm going to France on holiday this year.

3. No steak for me thanks, I'm a vegetarian now.

4. Isn't it noisy here!

5. Property prices can go down as well as up.

6. We have the best television content in the world

[Edith]

We praise thee, chorizo, fruit of the pork,
We laud thy sweet savour, sitting on my fork,
Oh heav'nly paprika, spicing throughout,
'tis Paradise, so juicy, within and without.

Wow!

[Brian]

Wow!

That ain't nothin'. Wait until I unveil my Ode to Acelgas!

What rhymes with slimy?

:D

[Edith]

That ain't nothin'. Wait until I unveil my Ode to Acelgas!

What rhymes with slimy?

:D

Blimey!

blimey expl. A nice mild expletive, blimey is (in terms of rudeness) on a par with "wow" or "my goodness". It was originally part of the phrase "cor blimey", which was apparently a contraction of "god blind me" which was in turn an abbreviated version of "may god blind me if it is not so". To prevent alarm, though, it's worth saying that I've used this word a number of times and so far god has made no attempt whatsoever to blind me, whether what I was saying was true or not. Nowadays "cor blimey" is much rarer, but still used.

[Pepino]

Blimey is still fairly well used in the north of England, although even I would have to admit that it's more associated with older people, but I use it all the time and I'm only 32 (only :eek: !!!)

Another similar word I use occasionally is "crikey". It's a heavily watered down version of "f*** me!" (about a million times milder and safe for all the family! ;D )

[Brian]

Another similar word I use occasionally is "crikey". It's a heavily watered down version of "f*** me!" (about a million times milder and safe for all the family! ;D )

Just ask the Crocodile Hunter, Jeff Irwan. ;D

[jessi330]

Nice top 5.

Also, it's Steve Irwin.

[Edith]

Another thing a Spaniard would never say: 'This costs too much!' when buying the ingredients for a real good paella.

[Simon]

Well done! :D

I've never understood the deep-seated aversion to the French that some Spaniards carry.
Please--the English have been fighting the French for a 1,000 years....do you really think it's just because they're convenient?
;

[omeyas]

Please--the English have been fighting the French for a 1,000 years....
;

Why stop now?:) Generally, the Spanish don't seem to have much love for "los franchutes". When the French were stopping Spanish lorries at the border, and emptying those carrying wine, probably didn't help much. Personally, I drink Spanish wine, but never French! :D

[rod]

:p Tongue firmly in cheek, light the blue touch paper and stand well back...

1. I need to be there by 5 but there is no way I'm going to break the speed limit.

2. I'm going to France on holiday this year.

3. No steak for me thanks, I'm a vegetarian now.

4. Isn't it noisy here!

5. Property prices can go down as well as up.

Its a variant of 4, but based on my experience in Sevilla:


'This tapas bar is full - there's no room for us. Let's go to a quieter one where there'll be somewhere to sit.'

[Purrdey]

I got one from Tenerife...

"Let me do that RIGHT NOW!"

One day there was an incredible wind and rain, ships were being washed up on the beach in our village and the rain was like I have never seen in England. The next day "abuela" downstairs asked me if I could look after the nietos because the school was closed due to a hurricane warning.

That day was the most beautiful canarian winter day. Turned out the hurricane warning landed on a desk in the ayuntamiento the morning before and got buried under other paperwork...

[greytop]

I got one from Tenerife...

"Let me do that RIGHT NOW!"


Had a similar experience when I first went to the Shetland Isles (way north of Scotland) I was told in England they have tomorrow, in Spain mañana but up here there is nothing so urgent. Definitely a laid-back rural way of life - then North sea oil arrived!:mad:

[richardksa]

Here in Saudi we run on IBM time. That means - "Inshallah", "Bukrah", "Mahlesh"- which means "Hopefully"(close to "ojala" in Spanish!), "Tomorrow" and "It doesn't really matter does it?" You get used to it after a while.

[Andy Woolley]

:p Tongue firmly in cheek, light the blue touch paper and stand well back...

1. I need to be there by 5 but there is no way I'm going to break the speed limit.

2. I'm going to France on holiday this year.

3. No steak for me thanks, I'm a vegetarian now.

4. Isn't it noisy here!

5. Property prices can go down as well as up.

7. Good decision referee - that obviously wasn't a penalty for our side despite our centre forward falling to the ground.

8. Oh, you are Welsh - I am sorry if I asked if you were English as I realise that Wales and England are two separate countries.

9. Let me fetch you our extensive vegetarian menu.

[TotallyKen]

"Wait a minute, there´s a queue. Let´s join it at the end."

"oh no, not jamon serrano again."

"I´ll have my steak very well done please."

"Could I get some boiled vegetables on the side with that."

"I think I´ll have an early night tonight."

[Ben]

"I think I´ll have an early night tonight."
...and "I think the kids should have an early night tonight"

[Edith]

"I don't like garlic in my food."

[zonzamas]

"I don't like garlic in my food."

Is there anybody who doesn't like garlic? Unbelievable.

[Damian Corrigan]

"I think that needs some more Tabasco."

"It's 11 o'clock guys, who's getting last orders in? I'm beat, time to hit the sack."

"There's good and bad things about living in Spain."

"It's 3pm, who wants to go to the shops?"

(In Madrid) "I hope Barça do well this year"
(In Barcelona) "I hope Real Madrid do well this year"

"Tea, please. Do you have anything but Hornimans? And a dash of milk please."

"No, I don't think I'll slick my hair back today."

"You know, I'm really proud of what Spain has contributed to the international music scene."

"Ooh, its cloudy today. That's nice, I was getting bored of the sun."

"I think Kimi Raikkonen is the best Formula One driver in the world."

-Actually, scrap that last one, this one's better:

"Of course I was a fan of F1 before Alonso came along. I can name every F1 champion since 1950."

"You know, despite Spain making the most olive oil in the world, I think the Greek stuff is the best."

"I think the British presence in Gibraltar really adds to the cosmopolitanism of our peninsula."

"I think Ceuta and Melilla should rightfully belong to Morocco."

By the way, pepino: I say 'blimey' all the time and I'm from the south AND I'm under 30! ;D

Damian

[Dave_K]

"Wait a minute, there´s a queue. Let´s join it at the end."


LOL, this one often annoys me too. I'm always the yanqui stuck at the back (after starting near the front!).

[Edith]

Is there anybody who doesn't like garlic? Unbelievable.

I love garlic. It's 'one of the top five things a Spaniard wouldn't say'. ;D

[saiguanas]

"Wait a minute, there´s a queue. Let´s join it at the end."

Ah...you stole mine Ken.:cool:

That's one of the questions that I was always afraid to ask.

Can a Spaniard please answer this. I don't want this to sound ugly. I am asking very inquisitively. Why do Spaniards not stand in line/que? And why do the mopeds not wait in line with the cars at a red light instead of zooming between cars to the front?

The first time I went to Spain I told people "The Spanish are lovely wonderful people...except behind the wheel of a car, on a moped, or in a line.":p (I love you just the way you are!):-*

[Ben]

And why do the mopeds not wait in line with the cars at a red light instead of zooming between cars to the front?
Because they can! That's the whole point of having a moped/scooter/motorbike - to get to the front of every queue, beat the traffic jams, get around quicker. I understand that it is illegal to 'filter' through traffic like this in some parts of the states, but if that were the case here no one would bother owning a bike! (From a dedicated Vespa driving queue jumper!)

[Pepino]

Because they can!

And in the event that they can't phsycially push their way through, they just jump up onto the pavement, drive down as long as is necessary, and then rejoin the front of the queue. Standard practice over here! ;D

[TotallyKen]

* Ugh, look at all the fat on that jamon.

* I´ll have 400 grams of jamon cut really thickly please.

* It´s Friday, fish fingers!

*I think it´s a disgrace the way they hang all that meat over the bar counter.

___________________________________

RECIPES YOU WOULD´T FIND IN SPAIN:

- Firstly, let 400 grams of jamon de bellota (fat trimmed off) marinate for 24 hours.

- Jamon Korma

- Stir fried Jamon

- Jamon butty with brown sauce

ABOUT IBERIA:

* That was a great flight, what friendly staff and look, there´s my bags.

[richardksa]

I was waiting at a cross roads in Madrid. All roads had traffic lights and a pedestrian crossing. A scooter rider approached the intersection wanting to turn left, but the lights were against him. So when he reached the pedestrian crossing he turned left on to it. Reaching the roadside he threaded his way across the pavement (sidewalk) corner through the legal walkers to the pedestrian crossing that began there. Took it half way across the road then turned left to continue his journey.
(PS. It was a black scooter looking suspiciously like Bens. But it wasn't him as he arrived on foot about two minutes later.)

[omeyas]

Because they can! That's the whole point of having a moped/scooter/motorbike - to get to the front of every queue, beat the traffic jams, get around quicker.

Also to get around quicker, they seem to love riding up one way streets the wrong way. Which can be dangerous! I was going through a tiny main street of a village in the south, turned a 90 degree bend, and was faced with some young girl on a scooter charging up the street the wrong way. There was barely enough room for a car(going the right way), let alone a scooter as well, so the result was, she ended up being pinned up against the wall with a damaged hand and scooter. But I doubt for one moment that it put her off doing it again!

[richardksa]

One thing I have found a Spaniard would never say is, "It's your turn to pay". I have to be really quick if I want to pay for a meal or round of drinks. They are the most generous nation in the world.

[eldeano]

* Sorry, you can't get on. This bus is full.

[TotallyKen]

Ah...you stole mine Ken.:cool:

That's one of the questions that I was always afraid to ask.

Can a Spaniard please answer this. I don't want this to sound ugly. I am asking very inquisitively. Why do Spaniards not stand in line/que?


I know, this is one that really bothers me. Spaniards just don´t like to queue or they don´t know how to queue. If they happen to know just one person ahead of them in the queue this automatically gives them, their family and anyone else with them the right to push ahead and join the queue with their friend.

It happens in supermarkets, airports, concerts, everywhere. The classic is at the airport where they walk up to the head of the queue pretending to look at a flight monitor or whatever. And there they stay!

There is another habit which bothers me as much and I´ll add it to the list of things you´ll never hear a Spaniard say. It´s:

"No, you musn´t park there. That´s a disabled parking space."

By the way, I should add that I love living in Spain. The country has been very good to me and I could fill a book with the many positive things there are to say about Spaion and the people. But it´s nice to have a whinge every now and again.

That reminds me, how about not hearing at the bank:

"Good morning, how can I be of assistance to you today."

Or for anyone who is in business in Spain:

"No, you´re right it was our fault and we are going to get that sorted out immediately."

[ValenciaSon]

I want you to cook with just enough oil to prevent the food from sticking in the pan.

[sandy]

What about "do you mind if I smoke?"

sandy

[sandy]

"The traffic light is turning from amber to red, I'd better stop."

[eldeano]

... any word beginning with sp without adding an e at the front.

[TotallyKen]

"Seatbelt, kids"

"You guys go on ahead. My kid needs to go, so I´m going to find a toilet."

[SuziQ]

Yep - that's the english coming out in Marina's english.....

Truck = Lorry
Freeway = Motorway
Sidewalk = Footpath, or pathway
Elevator = Lift

Who says there's that much difference in English ????

However, I was surprised to find out that the word "Fortnight" is not commonly known in the U.S., let alone used.

In spanish too I've come across heaps of different usage...

Coche = auto = carro - I found the differences in Spain - Chile - Peru

Even Chile and Peru used different words for wheels and tyres (tires for US).

Peru - llanta = just the rubber bit
Chile - neumatico = just the rubber bit, whereas llanta is the whole wheel

Anyway, there was heaps more........... :p


EXCUSE ME....

I hope you ment to say, thats the AMERICAN. Coming out in her English.:naughty:

[Dave_K]

"You guys go on ahead. My kid needs to go, so I´m going to find a toilet."

Lol, that reminds me of when I was there this past Christmas....on Calle Serrano in Madrid...busy corner with lots of traffic and upscale shops all around....a mother with two kids, one in a stroller, another about 4 years old walking....the 4yo has to pee....the mother directs him to a tree on the corner....the kid lets loose from about 3 feet away, an upwarding arching stream splattering the tree trunk.....after they moved on I asked my wife if she just saw what I saw....she did, but wasn't (as) fazed by it.....I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go....

[Dave_K]

One thing I have found a Spaniard would never say is, "It's your turn to pay". I have to be really quick if I want to pay for a meal or round of drinks. They are the most generous nation in the world.

That's very true!

[TotallyKen]

Lol, that reminds me of when I was there this past Christmas....on Calle Serrano in Madrid...busy corner with lots of traffic and upscale shops all around....a mother with two kids, one in a stroller, another about 4 years old walking....the 4yo has to pee....the mother directs him to a tree on the corner....the kid lets loose from about 3 feet away, an upwarding arching stream splattering the tree trunk.....after they moved on I asked my wife if she just saw what I saw....she did, but wasn't (as) fazed by it.....I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go....


Yep, I´ve seen that and much worse. They pee here, they pee there. Doesn´t matter who they are. And not just kids, adults too.
The strange thing is, there always seems to be a toilet somewhere nearby. They could easily reach a public loo in time I´m sure but they don´t even try! :confused:

[SuziQ]

No, I am driving I will have non alcoholic please. ;D

[Isra]

We would never say:

"Let's check the user guide to figure out how this dvd player works"

[ValenciaSon]

EXCUSE ME....

I hope you ment to say, thats the AMERICAN. Coming out in her English.:naughty:
American is not a language. We do speak American-English as opposed to the Commonwealth-English our British friends do.

Nice whip:rolleyes:

[Markitos]

And we (Spaniards men) would never say:

Let's ask to the shop assitant!

[Grazy]

I think that the average spaniard doesn't think the French are interesting enough to actually go to their colder, overpriced (froma spanish point of view) country in the first place. The amount of propaganda about France you get in english speaking countries is incredible in comparison.

[ValenciaSon]

Just ask the Crocodile Hunter, Jeff Irwan. ;DIsn't he on the History channel:rolleyes:?

[lenox]

Down here in Andalucía.
I've never seen a Spanish pedestrian use a zebra crossing, or, for that matter, a Spanish motorist stop at a zebra crossing. Sometimes, when I decide for some reason to stop (I'm slowly morphing into an andaluz), perhaps as a foreigner trolls across the street, or perhaps under the mistaken idea that some Spaniards enjoying an aimiable discussion about something as they stand just where the crossing begins had some idea of crossing (everybody's gotta stand somewhere), then, as I stop the car, the motorist behinds me - briefly surprised - does a quick Fangio overtake a toda pastilla. It keeps the foreigners thinned.
In the pueblo this evening, just between two crossings which are about five metres apart (the ayuntamiento paints them in front of supporter's shops), just between the new metal trampolines which can crack your head if you have any speed up, an old girl totters across the road, neither looking left or right and, most certainly, not using either of the pasos de cebra.

[greytop]

Down here in Andalucía.
I've never seen a Spanish pedestrian use a zebra crossing, or, for that matter, a Spanish motorist stop at a zebra crossing. ....The road is maybe painted just to make it easier to clean up the blood!

[richardksa]

They are quite colourful in Seville:

[richardksa]

And you always know how long you have before they run you over:

[Edith]

They are quite colourful in Seville:

Cool! That's exactly how I arrange my watercolor crayons! :D