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View Full Version : Amusing email doing the rounds again about life in Spain


Berti
8th August 2008, 01:55 PM
You know you’ve lived in Spain when:

1) You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is a fine idea.

2) You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?

3) You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.


5) You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.

6) Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

7) You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?

8) On msn you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'

9) You think that aceite de oliva is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.

10) You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.

11) You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?

12) You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' - but hate explaining it in English

14) You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack - they're just what all the cool kids eat.

15) You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.

16) Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: 'bueno,' 'coño,' 'vale,' 'venga,' 'pues nada'...

17) You know what a 'resaca' is.

18) You know how to eat boquerones.

19) A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.

20) You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.

21) You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.

22) If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out...

23) You know how to change a bombona. And if you don't, you were either lazy or lucky enough to live somewhere nice.

24) It's not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking 'Quien?'


25) You don't accept beer that's anything less than ice-cold.

26) You know Bimbo isn't a slutty woman, it's a make of 'pan de molde' (which, incidentally, isn't mouldy)

27) The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.


29) You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

30) On some Sunday mornings you sometimes have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.

31) You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.

32) Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!

33) You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.



35) When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero.

36) You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion...

37) You know that 'ahora' doesn't really mean now. Hasta ahora, ahora vuelvo...etc

38) When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15...if you're lucky!

39) Central heating is most definitely a foreign concept. In winter, you just huddle around the heater under the table & pull the blanket up over your knees...and sleep with about 5 blankets on your bed! (OK this is probably just in the south!)

40) When you laugh, you don't laugh your head off - te partas de risa.

41) Aceite de oliva is 'muy sano', of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.

42)When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.

43) When it's totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.

44) Te cagas en la leche....


46) When you know what a guiri is / have been called one

47) When you add 'super' in front of any adjective for emphasis

48) Blonde girls actually start to think their name is 'rubia'


50) If something is great, it's 'de puta madre'

51) You can eat up to 5 times a day - first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena

52) You know the jingle for Los Cuarenta Principales...


54) When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it's standard practice to ask 'Quien es la ultima?'

55) Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?

56) You know what 'marcha' and 'juerga' are.

57) You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.

58) Love it or hate it, you can't escape reggaeton.

59) You answer the phone by saying 'Yes', (well, or 'Tell me') and when identifying yourself you say 'I'm...' not 'It's...'. But when you try those tactics back home, everyone thinks you're mad or rude!

60) You carry on buying UHT milk when you get back home and your friends think this is disgusting but you can't understand their point of view.


62) If you eat a lot of something, you're not going to 'turn into' it, you're going to 'get the face of it,' e.g 'te vas a poner cara de chocolate.' Somehow a lot more amusing!

63) Drinking coffee out of a glass is entirely normal.

64) 'Son las nueve, las ocho en Canarias' is how you are used to hearing radio DJs announce the time

65) You've been to your local town's feria/fiesta/semana santa

bri10s
9th August 2008, 02:36 AM
[quote=Berti;58359]You know you’ve lived in Spain when:



29) You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

jajajaja. i loved this one. we learned "echar un polvo" one night out in a bar. one of our spanish friends said it to us, but wouldnt explain it, just kept laughing...he made us ask the women at the next table :blush:

my roommate learned a few other ones the hard way too (yep, my 65 yr old host mother had to help her out on these)

-preservativo and conservante (yeahhh, i'll pass on the preservativo in my food, thank you very much)
-yo corro y me corro :p

Edith
9th August 2008, 11:20 AM
You know the difference between (...) pollo and polla(...) and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

Yes, it has happened to me once, I said 'polla' in a restaurant even though I was fully aware of its meaning! It just slipped out of my mouth and we all started giggling! The waiters were very lenient, I guess they knew the meaning of a Freundian slip. ;D

allan
9th August 2008, 01:18 PM
You know you’ve lived in Spain when:

18) You know how to eat boquerones.

I'd replace boquerones with galeras in this one.

Allan

allan
9th August 2008, 02:30 PM
You know you’ve lived in Spain when:

3) You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.

Sounds more like London to me.:rolleyes: