Categories
Living in Spain

10 Years in Spain

Ten years ago today, on August 30th 1998, I left the UK for Spain. It was a move born to a great extent out of desperation. I was nearly 26, living in London, with no real job or income, and no reasonable plans. After making a few random applications, I had been offered a place on a TEFL course in Madrid two weeks previously, decided to go for it, and from there one thing after another just fell into place. A friend told me at the time that I was very brave, all I knew was that I was plain terrified.

Ten years later it’s fun to look back and see what Spain has given me:

A wife, new friends, a beautiful new language, endless travels and new landscapes and, through a hell of a lot of hard work, a business we love that keeps me and la wife out of an office job and covers the mortgage. I certainly couldn’t have predicted that last one!

Obviously a lot of those things could theoretically have been achieved if I’d stayed in the UK, or gone anywhere else, but it certainly feels like I was meant to come here, and that some of these things might not have happened so well had I not wound up in Spain.

An interesting part of living so long in a new country is that you become bi-cultural, but in a weird way which I’ll try to explain. I totally lost touch with the finer aspects of British popular culture years ago (who the hell is Russel Brand?), but still feel nostalgic if someone mentions British childhood favourites like the Magic Roundabout.

Conversely, I know lots about Letizia Ortiz and enough about David Bisbal, ZP, corruption in Marbella and the speed of Spain’s trains, but am completely lost when Marina laughs at jokes based on TV characters from her Spanish childhood (who the hell is el hombre de Pescanova?!)

So when I say I’m bi-cultural, I mean I’m culturally British up until the age of 26, then mildly imbued with Spanish culture from that point on. It’s a bit odd.

It means that when I’m back in the UK I get a kick out of the familiar homely tones of BBC1 or Radio 4, but am lost as to half of what they are talking about, as if I’d gone to sleep in the late 90’s and just woken up to a completely different version of the day to day UK. On the other hand, having not been born into it, much of Spanish popular culture (just about anything on daytime TV), really doesn’t ring the right bells, of hit the right spots…

None of this matters of course, it’s just a minor disconnect on both sides of Ben – English Ben, and Spanish Ben – that sometimes leaves me mildly… … Spanglish.

Other random thoughts:

Marina says that Spain has made me a worse driver, I agree. After 10 years of seeing how no one else pays complete attention to the all the rules of the road, it’s hard not to let standards slip oneself.

At home, Marina and I talk to each other in a terrible mixture of English and Spanish, often switching mid sentence, and occasionally mixing in our own made-up cross-breed words (“I’m feeling a bit agobiated”).

To my continued surprise, I really like Morcilla (blood and rice shaped into a sausage).

If England played Spain at football, I’d be with Iker’s team in a flash.

I sometimes feel at least 50% Spanish.

Spain has done me very very well, and as usual I’d encourage anyone thinking of making a similar (in fact, any) bold move in their life to go for it. Big changes need bold moves. When I made mine I was young, free and single, and that undoubtedly made it a hell of a lot easier. If you are none, or only some, of the above, you can still take a step into the unknown, just think carefully about what backups you should have in place first.

Anyway, enough of all that, here’s to another 10 years in Spain, and a whole lot more after that!

For more on my escape from London, my first three years in Spain and meeting Marina, don’t forget to read “Errant in Iberia”!

Categories
notes

273 km/h – AVE to Barcelona

from the AVE

This is pretty cool, I’m sitting on the AVE from Madrid to Barcelona, Macbook on the table in front of me, hooked up to the orange 3G Internet Everywhere usb modem, landscape shooting by at nearly 180 mph, and all this tech stuff just works!

It was worth bringing all that crap after all!

Doh! Just went into a series of long tunnels, there goes that internet connection…

Categories
notes

What does a “blogger” take on holiday?

http://www.viddler.com/player/870ee501/

The above may appeal to the odd Geek out there. Marina and I are off for a few days to the Costa Brava to practice our Catalan and, as usual, can’t afford to leave the tech behind!!

Categories
Spanish Culture and News

‘Morbo’ and the Spanish fascination with emotional hell

Barajas plane crash

Last week’s horrendous, tragic plane crash in Madrid led us and many others living in Spain to take firm decisive action: to turn off the TV, ignore news websites, and stop buying the papers.

The news media had gone (and continues to go) too far again. Within hours of the accident we had all the information we would need. The plane had lost control, crashed near the airport, and all but a few very lucky people (now 18), had died.

Yet the ‘news’, playing to the famous national ‘morbo‘, or morbid fascination with all horrendous events, has been camped out outside hospitals and the main convention centre morgue where bodies are being identified, trying desperately to secure images and, worst of all, interviews with emotionally destroyed relatives.

Occasionally it seems (OK, I have watched a minute here, a minute there of the news, all I can take), they strike gold and discover the story of the guy who tried to get off the plane before the second fatal take off attempt but wasn’t allowed, the text message sent to a friend about ‘problems with our plane’, and more emotion-twisting horror than your average viewer can take.

And still it goes on, 4 days later. Part of the reason it is so hard to watch is that it so closely mirrors the news coverage of the Madrid train bombings, a few years ago, when we were all glued to images of twisted train wreckage and dead bodies for days (or weeks) on end, trying desperately to understand how something so insanely horrendouns could have happened.

According to a conversation overheard in a doctor’s waiting room, all this Spanish morbo can be traced back to a lady named Nieves Herrero (nicknamed Nieves Horrores), who started the trend in the 90’s with a daily morning TV programme called ‘Cita con la Vida’ (A Date with Life), that scoured the country to broadcast the most upsetting, awful social and personal tragedies Spain was hiding in its quiet villages and city suburbs.

Here’s a quote from Wikipedia’s entry on Nieves Herrero that perfectly captures the current Spanish media behaviour, and the average night on Spanish TV:

“She was heavily criticised for the coverage given to the famous Crimen de Alcácer, making a live broadcast from this village the same night that the bodies of the girls were found. In the programme, they took advantage of the emotional state of the families of the victims, interviewing the parents about how they felt at the time, and converting their pain into a public spectacle to be broadcast to the whole country.”

The country became addicted to ‘other people’s awful lives’, the media discovered there was plenty of tragedy to go around, and no watchdog ever stepped in to say just how much horror they could get away with showing. The result is that you will see bodies, devastation, and emotional hell that you would never see in 100 years on the good old BBC.

But let’s face it, this morbo is not just a Spanish problem, it’s just more out in the open here. In the end, revelling in other people’s misery is a very modern, developed world phenomenon. I think it plays to either one of two basic human positions:

1) “Thank god my life isn’t that bad”

……or, perversly, (and please tell me if I’m wrong),

2) “If something that bad happened in my life it would probably give me the shake up I need to change things dramatically forever, and kick me out of the everlasting everyday mundane.”

Whichever the case, for many Spaniards this latest round of media morbo has been a step too far. Is it possible that one day an audience that just can’t take any more will switch off for good? Will we ever see the demise of this endless aggressive probing into emotionally-debilitating modern human horrors?

Comments welcome as always.

Categories
Spanish Culture and News

Having Trouble With The Spanish Timetable

Like most people when they first move to Spain, when I arrived in Madrid nearly 10 years ago, I found it tricky to adapt to the crazy timetable during the first few weeks. I was eating at 1pm, but everyone else turned up at 2… or 3…. I ate dinner in empty restaurants at 8.30, the Spaniards came in as I was paying my bill.

Still, within about 2 weeks I worked out what was going on, and did as the locals were doing. Friends wouldn’t meet until 10pm on a Saturday night? No problem! Soon got used to that!

But recently something perplexing is going on. These days I get up at 7 a.m. and work from about 7.30 until 2. A quick rest after lunch, then more work until 6ish, when I am obliged (under new household laws designed to control my computer addiction and give me back some of my old life) to stop work, close the lid of the laptop, and pay more attention to my wife.

All fine… until we meet up with Spanish friends in the evening. By 11pm I’m shattered! By midnight, as the assembled locals start looking if anything even more lively, I’m sending pleading glances to Marina, hoping she’ll take the hint and announce it’s time to go home. By 1 am I’m downright pissed off!

I think I have three options to beat this very Madrileño problem:

1. Get up later (unlikely, and not very Spanish)

2. Start taking a 45 minute siesta on days we are going out (hmmm… tempting)

3. Take up coffee, in heavy doses.

How do you deal with the long end of Spanish timekeeping?

Categories
Spanish Culture and News

More Spanish Car Safety Madness: The ITV

Car owners in Spain are required to have the following four things in place before they can take their vehicle out on the road: paid-up car tax, valid insurance, the ITV vehicle inspection certificate and, last but not least, a complete disregard for their own personal safety.

This was proven again this weekend, at an official level, when we took our car to sort out item 3 on the list, the ITV.

The ITV, or Inspección Técnica de Vehí­culos, is the equivalent of the British MOT. A new car has to take this test after 4 years on the road, then every 2 years for a while, then finally every year.

The test is administered at huge warehouses on the dusty outskirts of cities all over Spain, and involves checking exhaust emissions, suspension, brakes, indicators, seatbelts, and other small items required for general road safety like whether or not your headlights work.

Ours didn’t. At the very second the guy told me to turn on my headlights for this seemingly important part of the test, a warning light popped up on my dashboard telling me that the front left headlamp had failed. Oh No!

This blatantly meant we were going to fail the ITV, would have to drive back to Madrid, get it fixed, and come all the way back out to kilometer 20.4 of the A6 motorway to take the test again several days later.

As we queued up to get out ‘Fail’ certificate the injustice of this terrible piece of bad timing weighed heavily: why couldn’t the damn light have blown just 2 minutes later? I approached the desk and was informed by a nice young lady, ‘Here we are, no problems, 2 more years.’ The car passed the test!

Marina and I scanned the piece of paper to see how on earth this was possible. At the bottom there were two colomuns: Infracciones Graves (Serious, Your-Car-Is-Off-The-Road Problems) and Infracciones Leves (Little Fluffy Don’t-Worry-About-It Problems). Under the Small Problems column, where things that are not important enough to fail you and keep your car off the road go, we read ‘broken headlamp bulb’.

So next time you drive along a narrow Spanish country lane in the dark, and a nearly-impossible-to-see car with only one functional headlamp comes tearing round a blind corner nearly forcing you off the road in shock, don’t worry! Relax! It’s just an Infracción Leve, not in any way to be confused with something that might actually make the already scary roads of Spain any less of a secure environment for you and your family!

Spanish car-madness stories/experiences welcome in the comments below.

Categories
geek stuff

The Best Damn Way I’ve Ever Found To Get Things Done

Off-Topic:

Working from home for the last couple of years, I’ve tried just about every productivity idea, software and system in the book to get more (or any!) stuff done, and pretty much most of them don’t work for more than about 2 days… after which they drive you so mad trying to follow their complex productivity rules that you feel you want to explode!

So this is the latest system I’m using, I reckon it’s pretty good whether you work at home or in an office, and I certainly can’t claim to have invented it. I’ve cobbled it together from a few sources (Eben Pagan, Tim Ferriss, me…) Here we go:

1. Start the day with a list of a couple (no more!) of really important things you need to get done. Write these down on a piece of paper on your desk. As you get them done through the day, put a big satisfying line through them! Alternatively use a simple text document, and write DONE next to things as you get them, well, done.

Now the IMPORTANT bit:

2. Work in the following way. 50 minutes work, 10 minutes rest, 50 minutes work, 30 minutes rest. Repeat as necessary.

During each 50 minutes block you work 100% on the task of work you have set yourself. No email, no youtube, no IM, nada, just hard work on the most important task you have to do that will inevitably lead to more money for you or your company. Sounds tacky, but that is what work is for, isn’t it?

I have a little desktop timer/alarm widget for the Mac that I set for 50 mins, it chimes when it’s time for the break.

3. At the end of every 50 minutes, make a note somewhere, on or off the computer, of what you have done. This is your work diary. It helps you see how much you are doing, making you feel good about yourself when you review it at the end of the day.

4. In the 10 and 30 minute breaks, get far away from the computer if you can. Make a cup of tea, go for a walk, talk to the cat… Don’t do any sneaky work!! (If you are in an office and can’t leave the computer, read some relaxing newsy stuff etc)

5. Never process all your email until you have done at least one 50+50+10 stint. If you really have to look at it, do, but don’t start answering email. Make ’email’ one of your 50 minute sessions, but not during the first 2 or 3 of these 50 min sessions of the day.

I find it is best tackled just before or after lunch. And once you get into it, empty your inbox! Process all of it! Then leave it. Close that program. No cheating. Email is a ‘productivity’ killer. The biggest. Give it it’s allotted time, no more.

Conclusion

Well, it’s working a treat for me. More work, less guilt about not doing enough, and a good record of everything I’ve done. Even if you just get two, max 3 of those 50+10+50+30 sessions done per day, and you don’t break the rules of distraction, you will be doing more than before, guaranteed.

Thought it might help someone somewhere! Comments welcome…

Categories
Spanish Culture and News

Spanish Police Brutality and the Sign of the Cross

There’s a granny on the first floor that makes the sign of the cross, just as if she’d entered a church and stood before the altar, every time she crosses the threshold of our building, stepping out into the mean streets of Madrid.

You sometimes see this with old ladies that get onto the Metro too, and I’ve seen more than a few younger women franticly tracing thumb and forefinger up and down, side to side across their chest, as they step on a plane bound for the UK (I imagine they are more worried about the flight than the destination, though these days it’s a toss up as to which is more dangerous!)

I used to inwardly smile at this sort of ‘antiquated’ behaviour, but these days, as many of the big cities in Spain start to take on unpleasant aspects of other great metropolises around the globe, I’m not sure those grannies (and why is it only women I see doing this?) are so crazy. After all, believer or non-believer, every bit of supernatural protection probably helps!

I mean, look what happened right below our balcony recently:

http://www.viddler.com/player/98e8aad4/

Categories
Spain Travel Spain Video

Final Asturias Photos and Cares Gorge Video

Playa de Andrin

For those that want a final taste of our recent trip to Asturias, check out the photos here, and the video from the Cares Gorge below…

http://www.flickr.com/apps/video/stewart.swf?v=55430

Categories
Spanish Food and Drink

Napkins: A very Spanish obsession?

I’m always getting a friendly reminder from La wife every time I lay the table, that in Spain, napkins are not optional. Even after years of reminders, I manage to get cutlery, glasses, plates, and food, but forget the darn napkins/serviettes.

To Marina this is unfathomable. How can a table be considered to be laid without this crucial lip-wiping, lap-saving element in place?

Is this because I’m English, or am I just a slob? Is this napkin obsession a Spanish thing? (And don’t get me started on table clothes… We have drawers full of the things, hand sewn by well-meaning Spanish aunts, and used nearly as much as the pesky matching napkins!)